trust issues // w. nylander

16} yesterday

OKAY SO WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS, ABUSE, AND OTHER SENSITIVE SUBJECTS. SKIP IF YOU THINK THAT ANY OF THIS WILL TRIGGER YOU.

Third person POV

SOMETIMES SHE LAYED AWAKE at night and thought about before William. Everything she'd been through just to get to where she was now seemed so nightmarish. Her past was so far gone, so out of reach.

Logan Rosalyn Alexandrovich was faded.

It felt, wrong, it made her want to cry. Those nights that she stayed awake, not being able to fall asleep and simply just staring at the white ceiling above her. Empty inside, the coldness that used to run through her veins, her defensiveness that never seemed to go away, all because of Seth.

What William didn't know couldn't hurt him...

The thing is that Seth didn't just cheat on Logan, he used to come home sometimes, angry, not drunk, but so angry. Everyone knew that he had anger issues, his parents even sent him to rehab for a while.

She didn't victimize herself, Logan didn't want to be the victim. She didn't want people to look at her and see the poor little girl who let her boyfriend control her life.

Seth had never used much force, no use of weapons, just a few rough punches here and there.

PTSD after the car accident climbed on to her pile of rising problems around her seventeenth birthday. The first flashback, the wheel spinning out of control, her mother screaming, the roar of the car engine setting off a flame inside her heart that she couldn't put out. It had been ignited and not to be extinguished. After two years of pills and numerous medications, it had slowly but surely begun to fade away.

Bruises. The bruises she had grown accustomed to, now completely faded and skin back to its natural creamy pale colour. Not once had she not woken up in the morning and stared at the bruises that covered her stomach. Seth was always extra careful not to go for the face, he knew as well as she did that people would begin to ask questions. That was the last thing that either of them wanted.

Logan had decided for the first seven or so months that she could deal with it, push aside the negatives of their relationship, hoping that the pros would outweigh the cons

She couldn't carry the weigh of the world on her shoulders, no one could.

It was when one night she was watching hockey in her bedroom, having had a fight with Seth earlier that day. She had burned holes staring at her bruised stomach, just wishing the hurt would go away— or disappear— or just completely dissolve into nothing.

Who was her cynical 20 year old boyfriend to think that he was allowed to do this to her? To anyone? How lost had she became that she completely forgot her morals, the common sense she had been raised on? What kind of messed up shit did Seth have to do to her to set her so far off from her own thoughts that she didn't know who she was anymore? Why had she let it go on for this long?

Logan didn't want it. She didn't want Seth, she didn't want the empty apologies that he muttered in her ear every other night or so, she most defiantly didn't want the pressure for perfection crushing her into pieces, she didn't want to look into Seth's cold light amber eyes ever again.

He had her feeling like an animal locked in a cage. She didn't want to have the same argument with herself each and every night. Tired of it all, she decide it was enough.

This was days before she found out.

Her cousin Ashley told her. It was with a girl from her private school, Paige Taylor, a high school senior with a reputation; she was known to split couples up. They'd been caught in bed with each other after Ashley was stopping by Paige's condo to pick up some clothes she'd left there.