Give Me Courage (Give Me Series #4)

23 - Secrets

"He's here."

Before I opened my eyes, the scuffing noise of sneakers against the concrete outside of the jeep sounded in my ears, confirming Liam's arrival. I heaved a small sigh, slowly opening my eyes to see Liam patiently waiting on the sidewalk near the front bumper of the jeep, hands buried deep in the pockets of his dark blue hoodie. My eyes remained on the young beta, refusing to veer off to the far right, afraid of the sight I would be greeted with, not fully prepared for the reasoning I brought Liam here.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" Stiles broke the small silence, shifting around in the driver's seat to get a better look at my body next to him. His left hand remained on top of the steering wheel, nervously tapping the worn out leather with the pad of his thumb.

From where he sat, I could feel Stiles' intense and concerned gaze on the side of my face. When I originally asked him to drive me here to meet Liam, he argued that it wasn't the right time to do this. Stiles didn't want me to go through this, especially not without him by my side. He reached out with his right hand over the small distance between our seats, wrapping his fingers over the top of mine where it rested on my thigh.

I pressed my lips together, a nervous habit I've picked up over the years. Refusing to look in any direction but straight ahead, I lightly shook my head in response to his question, flipping my hand over to intertwine my fingers with his, allowing myself a few more seconds with him before I was forced to go through with my plan.

"No, I have to do this on my own," I told him. Swallowing the tiny lump in my throat, I slowly angled my head in his direction, hoping he couldn't see the fear that I was struggling to hide.

Stiles' eyes softened when he saw the fearful look in my eyes. "Hey, come here," he said, gently tugging on my hand, urging me closer to him. His hand left mine to wrap both of his arms around my shoulders for a comforting embrace. "You don't have to do this if you're not ready."

I shook my head against his shoulder, breathing in deeply. "It's not a matter of if I'm ready or not, Stiles," I explained to him. "He needs to know. I refuse to keep anymore secrets in this pack. We already saw the outcome of what that can do to all of us last night. I'm not taking anymore risks."

A wave of guilt washed through my body at the mention of the events that occurred less than twelve hours ago. The arms Stiles had wrapped around my body tightened as soon as he felt my shoulders tense. I buried my face into his neck, squeezing my eyes shut.

I still didn't understand what happened to me last night. After I got back to the house, the reality of everything I had said and did hit me, and I became overwhelmed with a mass amount of guilt and confusion. If I didn't know any better, I would say that someone had possessed my body for those two hours.

"Hey, last night wasn't your fault. You got caught up in losing Liam and--"

"-- and I said a lot of things that I didn't mean." I finished for him in a soft voice. "I don't know what came over me, Stiles. I really don't. Yes, I was furious at Scott, but I never would have said any of that to him. That person last night was not me. I-I don't know what happened. All I know is that I feel awful."

Stiles pulled back to grab my face between both of his hands, forcing me to look him in the eyes. "You two have been through so much over the years. Scott will forgive you, just like you will forgive him." His thumb brushed across the skin of my cheek with a small smile on his lips as he gazed at me, lovingly. "Maybe it has to do with both of you being Alphas in the same pack, it heightens your emotions, like anger."

A sigh floated from my lips. "That was more than just anger. I just wanted to keep fighting with him and--"

"Hey, it's okay, alright? You can talk to him before the exam this morning and tell him everything. He was texting me all night about how he took the whole thing way too far and didn't know how it happened. You two just need to talk it out."