A Songbook In The Making//S.M.

15. I Don't Even Know Your Name (3)

"Oh everywhere that I go
I see your face and it kills me to know
That you'll never know what you did to me
And now you're gone."

S e b a s t i a n

A knock pulled me out of my dream, and I jerked awake on my bed. Well...it was fun while it lasted.

Now it's back to reality.

My present reality was numerous boxes worth of tissues scattered all over my room, bowls upon bowls of uneaten soup on my dresser, and more cold medicines than I could count on my bedside table.

"Seb!" Shouted a voice from the other side of the door. My brain didn't register the voice, so  I immediately thought it was my Mom trying to bring me more Spanish Soup.

"Mami! Please no more! Pancetta doesn't cure everything, you know!"

"No, Seb, it's me." The voice said again.

This time it registered.

"Shawn?"

"Yeah, I'm coming in." Shawn said, opening my door, then shutting it quickly after.

"Shawn, you can't just-"

"Where have you been?"

"I told you. Like 5 times. I'm sick!"

"That's no excuse." He said, pointing a finger at me. "So much has happened!"

"Shawn, you just woke me up from a dream, involving me in a solid gold suit, 12 supermodels- Don't ask," I added when he gave me a weird look," and most importantly, not you. At this point, I don't really-"

"Lucy isn't talking to me." Shawn interrupted, looking at me desperately.

Oh no, the puppy dog eyes.

"Fine!" I gave in after a solid minute, folding up my legs and sitting up. "Sit."

Shawn walked over and sat on my bed across from me.

"What happened?"

"I spent the night at Lucy's last night. And it was fine. And then she and Ben had a fight. Then she and I had a fight about their fight, and-"

"Oh, Shawn, what'd you say?"

"What do you think I said? I told her she wasn't being herself!"

"Dude, what did we talk about? You can't just go around saying things!"

"Why? What did I do?"

"Shawn, you can not tell a girl she's being fake."

"Well, yeah, a normal girl. But Lucy's never been like that. You know that and I know that. She was never like Riley or Laur or Lindsay. I've never had to watch what I said or step on eggshells around her, cause she didn't care. She knew I didn't know what I was saying half the time. I never had to act smart or tell her what I was thinking because she knew...And it's happening again!" Shawn said, itching all over.

"Oh." I said, mentally slapping myself. "I know what's happening."

"What?" He immediately stopped, and looked at me. "Dude, please I just need all of this to stop. Tell me."

"I shouldn't have to."

"Wait. What are you saying? What do you know that I don't?"

"That you like Lucy...?"

"Of course I like Lucy. She's my best friend!"

"That's not what I meant." I sighed, running my hands down my face.

"Well then what do you-... Wait. You don't mean...?"

I looked at him like he was mentally insane, then nodded my head vigorously.

"No."

"Shawn-"

"No! Ok? I don't like Lucy like that, ok? I just don't. It's never even been a thought that's crossed my mind. I've never seen her in that way."

"And now?"

"What?"

"Oh come on. Now that I've said it, has it crossed your mind?"

"I... Look, Seb, just tell me what to do. I don't know what to do!"

"Find you new normal."

"What?"

"Lucy has found her new normal. For now, at least. Hopefully it won't stick. For now, you have to not only accept hers but find your own."

"I don't want to. I just want everything back to the way it was! Where Lucy was my best friend."

"I know. Me too. But if you want to keep her as your best friend, you don't particularly have a choice. As her best friend, you have to protect her. Lucy as always been pretty, right?"

"Well, I don't know about that, I always thought-"

"Shawn. Focus." I said, taking my pointer and middle finger, and pointing it between us.

"Right." He said, as he nodded.

"Everything has been covered up by...your plaid shirts and baggy jeans. But now it's all out in the open. Soon, guys are gonna be lining up, one after the other. And, well, you know the guys at our school. They're gonna hurt her. Bad."

"I knew this would be a problem one day. I just didn't think it would come so soon. But nevertheless I'm gonna do whatever it takes." Shawn got up walked toward the door, looking determined.

"Wait, Shawn?"

"Yeah?" He responded, turning back to me.

"One more thing. I'm not saying that you like her, because that's up to you to figure out. But I would think about it. People are noticing her now. She's not our little secret anymore. Figure it out before someone, like Tyler, realizes how awesome she is."

He stayed silent this whole time, and when I stopped, he still didn't speak.

"Ok?"

His head snapped toward me.

He nodded once before running out the door.

A/N Hey, guys. So I just put this in the Wattys. I know this one doesn't have many views or anything. But I've been working on it for probably 2 years, and it's my favorite. So yeah... just putting that out there. Haha. Also I was gonna put up a picture of sick Sebastian, but I found this one, where's he's literally over everything. And by this point I imagine him as being just done.