The War With Fate

Athena 10: Just a Few Questions, Please

Val, laur, Levi, and Marcus stayed for an hour or two, but eventually left me back in Erin's room alone. Now that them and their terrible jokes - What do you call a homo police dog? A gay-nine. - weren't here, I felt the tears form.

It was most definitely, positively, my fucking fault. If I hadn't let her kiss me, if I hadn't kissed her back, if I hadn't let my emotions take over, if I hadn't ignored the road, if I hadn't drifted into the other lane, if the other car wasn't flying by, if the other driver was fucking sob-

Oh. But I can't blame this on someone who fucking died because of my actions. I killed someone. Their family won't see them walk this earth ever again.

Tears started stinging my eyes, then they dropped onto the sheets of Erin's bed, staining drops as they landed. I'm sorry, Valerie, I couldn't stop myself this time.

I heard murmuring at the door to the room, but I ignored it. Probably a nurse.

"I should have guessed you'd be with a best friend..." the murmuring voice became clearer. A girl, definitely. A sweet, calming voice. Definitely Lea.

"And why are you here?" I asked sourly.

"I'm here to see my cousin, but also to talk to you. I just have a few questions and then I'll be out of your hair."

"Shoot." I waited for her first question.

She took a breath and looked towards me. "Why'd you break up with Zander? He's a wreck right now and I have to trust that he won't hurt himself while I'm here."

"It's simple really," I paused, not really knowing what I was going to say. "I... well... I still like him...? I mean.... just.... something happened and I started questioning things."

Lea gave me a soft smile, "I'm guessing that has to do with Cath, huh?" I could only not in response. "And I'm going to say Cath started it?" Another nod. "It has something to do with Cath crushing on you." Yet another nod.

"Is that all, lea?" I asked, embarrassed.

"Two more. Why would you do it when you were so happy with each other?"

I didn't restrain myself. "I was scared, okay? Scared of mention something about and screw everything over, so I broke up with him. My own heart couldn't decide what I should do and I'm realizing maybe I became too dependent on him? Too dependent on his kindness....his smile..."

"...his laugh, his smart remarks, oh, don't forget his body, his compassion, maybe...?" Lea continued the list. "All of what you and I listed off are even great characteristics of friends! I have one last question. Are you willing to be friends with his best friend, aka me, and furthermore, are you willing to be friends with him?"

"I don't know."

"I just want to know if you'll try or not, Athena, that's all I ask."

I looked at her completely and really took in what I was seeing. This girl who's best friend I had just ditched, wanted to make amends. She wants to be friends with me despite pitting her best friend through hell. "Yeah, I'll try."

She wrapped me in a tight, friendly hug that lasted long enough to become a loose, but firm, comforting one as I cried into her shoulder. I'm starting to feel better about this. Maybe all I needed was a motherly hug. It doesn't matter that it's lea, not my mom, but it has that same soothing affect. As she rubs my back and whispers "I'm sorry"s and "it's okay, tears can form a river" and goes through how this moment of hardship is like rain, I've never felt more at home than I do right now.