The War With Fate

Erin 1: If you Remember

I know something's wrong. Something in the crash has left me in this box of shifting colors, myself to lost to even make sense. The colors leave a white void where something, something should be. And then everything fades in. Athena is next to me, cracking a joke to lea who laughs quietly behind her hand. Lea says something back that leaves the whole group laughing and I smile.

I healed a lot quicker than I thought. "Hey," Athena scooted closer to me, "I'm sorry for how I acted before the wreck. But I still can't say about how I feel."

I looked at Athena. Into her piercing brown eyes. Their natural color was such an earthy tone, deep, beautiful, and dangerous. But these ones were not that. They were too bright, more like Lea's. And then the center turned white and I was back in the shifting colors.

I hated the emptiness of the area. It's too unnatural, no place to hide.

The even switched again, and I was sitting next to lea under the gazebo in the park when the family picnic had a sudden rampage of rain.

"Do you like the rain, cath?" Lea asked me, holding the picnic basket we shared while I held the blanket.

"Not really. It's hard to stay positive on my good days, and the rain just brings me down even more."

"Well I like it for a few reasons. It's quite a beautiful thing to watch."

"Is it because we're like the rain? Only beautiful when we fall?" I asked clutching the blanket even tighter.

"Not just that. Such little droplets are what started rivers and formed canyons. Isn't that amazing? Such little droplets formed the grand canyon and cut through rock..." Lea reached her hand out so the water could drop on to it.

"Yeah, I guess it's cool. But it's also cold as fuck and makes big ass puddles," I grumbled.

Lea laughed lightly. "If only the rain could make us forget our problems instead of creating it..." Lea looked to me, but her face didn't seem to be hers. Her face shifted to Lauren. We were sitting in the bed of her truck, joking with Valerie and Levi. A fire burned on the ground and we sat at the edge of the bed and watched it.

"I wish life could be like this forever sometimes," Levi said, taking a swig of his root beer. It's like beer, but for not 21 year olds, right?

"And we wouldn't have to worry about being adults and paying bills," Lauren added.

"Or being expected to have a family and kids," I added.

"Don't forget about all the things that come with being an adult," Levi shivered, "responsibility."

Valerie responded, "but then we couldn't experience what the adults do. Like actual beer." She lifted her can of root beer.

"And casinos," Lauren added.

"And lottery tickets," Levi commented.

"Or buying your own scratch offs," I commented.

Levi looked into the fire. Then up at me, straight into my eyes. "And buying a gun."  His eyes were completely white, unnatural in the low light the fire gave off.

I was back in that stupid white room with the fucking stupid ass colors and shapes.

Then I was brought into my bedroom at my parents house. I heard them fighting through my door and saw Simon, Vincent, and Aria all squished on my bed.

"Sometimes I wonder if living is worth it," Simon whispered, voice barely heard.

"Worth what?" Vincent whispered back.

Simon's hard set face softened as he looked down at Vincent. "Just listening to mom and dad fight so much."

"Maybe it's because they don't have any cake!" Aria whispered, but a toddlers whisper is basically a yell.

"That's right, ari! Maybe we need to have Lea bake them one soon!" Vincent cheered back.

The fighting stopped and I heard the front door slam and tires squeal as dad's car whipped out the driveway and swerved into the street.

Then I heard mom, "what does it take to keep him here? I've tried to get him to stay, but I'm too old to have another kid."

"Mom will be in to apologize in a minute," I said.

"But it always feels like it takes a minute too long for it to happen," Simon said to me, pulling Vincent and Aria closer to him.

"Why would you say that, Si? At least she makes an effort."

"A minute can change everything, sis. Everything."

And then everything faded to black.

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And that's it folks! Erin is going through some trippy ass shit right now