I'm Here to Help You (Darkiplier x Reader)

Up To Chance

I feel tears forming in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I refuse to cry over something like this. So, instead of sadness, anger consumes me. I should feel relieved, like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Instead, I feel like something's definitely missing, but it's not a weight.

It's a part of me.

Still, I shake my head and head up to my room. I lay on the bed for nearly an hour, replaying what happened in my mind. The memories that Dark took are still shrouded in darkness, but I'm completely aware that they're existent. Though I've been... affected by Dark's sudden and final departure, I still feel like something important was hidden in that memory. What could he have possibly told me that I wouldn't have been okay with?

Eventually, the deep thought causes me to fall asleep. Stress follows me into unconsciousness, plaguing my dreams. At some point, a light storm begins. I wake up to a short flash of lightning. I don't know how long I've been asleep, but it's dark outside now. My anger and sadness hasn't diminished, but it's less severe. General despondence stifles my energy.

I stand and move to the kitchen, grabbing a small bowl of popcorn instead of an actual meal. Then, I take a seat on the couch, lay sideways and find a random movie on Netflix. It's not a horror movie, but a longer action movie. It keeps me distracted from the loneliness and slight boredom I feel.

Even as the movie ends, it's still pitch black outside. I start another movie. It's another action one. As it ends I look out the window, watching the rain lightly tap against the patio. Occasional lightning flashes illuminate the line of trees sitting on a series of steep hills in the distance. The dark clouds blot out the stars and moon so that the bolts are the only source of light. I reach out, wrap a blanket around me, and stand. I make myself a cup of tea, then sit back down on the couch.

My sadness has become numbness, which is significantly more manageable. Eventually, morning light begins to stream through the window. I eat a small bowl of cereal for breakfast, then head upstairs to take a shower.

After throwing on some clothes and grabbing my phone, keys, earbuds, and pocketknife, I run outside. I'd also tossed on a aegean raincoat, and there's still a light drizzle of water falling from the sky. The light tapping against the hood of my jacket is relaxing and, accompanied by the soothing music streaming into my ears, lulls me into a sense of serenity. Every now and then, a sharp pain will shoot through my chest like a poison-coated arrow to the heart, but they're tolerable.

There are few people on the sidewalk, most are probably asleep this early or avoiding having to walk through the chilling precipitation. I shove my cold hands in my pockets, and duck my head down.

Finally, I reach a public park. There're a few people going for a morning jog, but besides that the lush park is deserted. It appears fairly gloomy because of the grayed morning light seeping through the clouds, but I think that's perfect. I make myself comfortable at the base of a tree on a large stone, just listening to music and letting the cold twist through my layers of clothing to freeze my skin as well. I sit with my knees up to my chest and my hands resting on my thighs.

Now that I'm out of the house and my emotions have dulled, I allow myself to think about Dark. It still hurts. I still can't seem to recall anything else about that memory – only the one line that plays on repeat in my head:

"You're unlike any human I've ever encountered."

The thought makes my cheeks warm, and I remember the feeling of his head on my shoulder. He seemed so... vulnerable. Still, I can't let myself be fooled.

"Why else would I be here if not for entertainment? Don't tell me you actually fell for the act, [Y/N]. You kept claiming that you're too aware to be fooled so easily."

I can't forget his other side. My jaw tightens and my hands ball into fists against my chest. I won't be fooled again.

This is what I get for opening up to someone. I rest my hooded head against the back of the tree and look upwards into the thick foliage above me. Raindrops dot my face, streaming down my cheeks like tears. I'd sworn I wouldn't cry, however, so the raindrops will have to do.

As the sun rises completely and the rain begins to end, I decide to head home. Shaking my legs awake, I begin to trudge back up the gravel trail to the sidewalk. My thumb glides across the handle of the pocketknife, urging me to remove it and use it on one of the unsuspecting persons in this secluded section of the park. However, I don't have anyone to clean up after me, so I'll just have to manage.

Closing the door behind me, I find a paper on the ground in the middle of the living room, exactly where Dark would always stand. Though anxious to pick it up, I take the time to wipe my shoes off on the welcome mat and shake the water from my jacket.

The paper is a startling black, cut into a perfect rectangle. Light gray writing is etched onto one side:

Go to the place of our first face-to-face encounter tonight

That is, if you truly wish to find me

I toss the note back onto the floor in frustration. It seems simple enough, but I'm torn. I'm not too proud to say that I miss Dark, but I'm too proud to go crawling back to him. Then again, there's the slight chance that it won't be horrible. Maybe he'll explain what he meant.

Yeah, I think cynically. Maybe he'll just kill you and won't berate you for being blind.

Still, I can't force myself to ignore the note. I spend the day pondering whether or not I should go. Dark had a swift change of character, one that I didn't expect. Sure, I always suspected that he'd shake me off eventually, but not like that. Not to mention that he erased a memory from my mind where he'd seemed vulnerable or open... But he could've decided that he went too far while acting then and he wanted to restart.

A sea of seemingly endless arguments and counter arguments wash through my head. As the time comes close for me to make my final choice, I decide to leave it up to chance. Digging a coin out of the junk drawer in the kitchen, I sit on the ground in front of the couch with the thing in my hand.

"Alright," I sigh, staring at the paper on the floor with anxiety. "Heads, I go; tails, I stay."

I flip the coin and catch it in my hand. Then, I smack it onto the back of my opposite hand.

Tails, I sta–

Suddenly, the coin slowly turns and one side lifts up. It flips itself over so that the head is facing upwards. A moment of confusion passes, then I realize who's probably behind the odd occurrence.

"Guess I'm going," I decide.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter of "I'm Here to Help You" as much as I enjoyed writing it. Comments and votes are super appreciated. Thanks for reading! ~Blue