Come Into My Life

Decision

"Guys, I've been thinking." I stopped and looked at mam and Jonnie. They have stopped eating their food and were staring at me. I let out a huge sigh. "I'm quitting my job." Jonnie had his mouth wide open and mam had her eyebrows furrowed; probably wondering what happened to her daughter all of a sudden.

"Are you sure?" Jonnie asked me in a hushed tone as if we were whispering to not let anyone hear our conversation. "Yeah. It had been in my mind for a while. I guess the time is right for me to take that step." Even though I was answering Jonnie, I was wondering why mam was not giving me any thoughts regarding this. "I thought you loved your job. But I think you had it coming, right?" Jonnie asked me as he took a sip of his water. I know what he was inferring. Last time I had a breakdown was when Zayn broke up with me. I thought about moving back home after the arrival of mam calmed me down from breaking away from life. But then work came and more responsibilities came and I was drowned in it. I loved that because it made me distracted from my pain and agony. Things were not easy at work though, because I had to work with some models and some of them were the ones Zayn cheated on me with. Those were the times I was seriously done with my job.

"Hey, Perrie." I was snapped from my thoughts by my mam. She was looking at me with her eyebrows furrowed. Jonnie had left the table as he probably would have guessed that I was lost in my thoughts and therefore not ready to talk more. I gave mam a halfhearted smile and continued with my food. Suddenly I felt mam holding my hand that was holding on to the sheets on the table. This is the second time she was holding my hands and honestly it was making me emotional. I know that whatever happens, mam is gonna be there for me. I know that she loves, trusts and believes in me. It makes it my job to make it up to her in someway and I had no idea how. "It's ok baby." Mam was comforting me. "You can quit your job. You've been taking care of yourself for a while now. Let me do that for you now." She combed her hand through my hair as I kept staring at my half empty plate. She kissed on my head and stood up from the chair holding the empty plates of mam and Jonnie. When she reached halfway, she turned to face me and said, "You deserve more. You deserve all happy things in life." I looked at her face and smiled; this one was a real one. As she walked back I heard her saying, "You'll find it here, I just know that."

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It was done. I had officially resigned from my job. I was now free. When I called them to let them know the news I knew that they were going to be destructed by the news, because I worked my ass off for them and they will sorely miss me. Even though I was resigned, I still need to complete the paperwork and hence I will have to leave. But, going back to that hell hole with the promise of never returning there ever again, I will take that. I never knew I had this confidence. I could have gotten that from the proximity of mam. I need to thank her for making my decision easier. I don't know what life holds for me here. I am not expecting any miracles or out of the world incidents to change my life. I'm also not expecting to meet someone whom I could call mine. I thought I had Zayn, but he actually belonged to a bunch of other girls too. I'm completely down on luck in my love life and professional life. I hope things could change here, or maybe not. Who knows.