Gotham's Apocalypse (A Joke Story [Sequel to Cruel])

41: Confide

I tapped my fingers absently along the table top, staring at the black mesh ground into the abyss. Bats communicating with each other echoed through the darkness, and instead of fearing the drop, I continued to stare. I heard distant, muffled echoes that I chose to ignore, fixating on the uneventful scene below me.

Suddenly, a blurry blob slipped into my view, and I focused my vision at the large obstruction, looking upward once I realized it was Batman, trying to get my attention. "Lucy?" He asked. Straightening my back, I blinked a few times, craning my neck to make eye contact.

"I'm sorry," I responded weakly, reaching my hand up to my face to rub my right eye. I was exhausted, running on an hour and a half of sleep. Tracking down Zero Xavier was truly a feat I couldn't face alone, with Batman's state of the art technology we were able to get a glimmer of hope that we'd find him before he struck again.

"Why don't you go home? You look tired," He examined my face, and I could only imagine how much worse the bags under my eyes had gotten since the last time I checked. I looked at the watch on my wrist, pursing my lips. Damn. Five hours since I checked on myself.

It was four in the morning. I had come straight here after talking to Doctor Freeze, which was information I chose to withhold from The Batman. He was helping me with my current objective, and I didn't want to hear any flack about making deals with criminals. Given the fact I do this on the daily.

I ran my fingers through my hair, curling my fingers to entrap the locks that slipped through my fingers, giving it a small tug as I let out a groan, stretching out my legs. "I'm going insane." Batman didn't reply to my statement, so I pulled my hands out of my disheveled mop head to peer up at him. He was giving me one of those looks that told me exactly what he was thinking without having to speak. "Oh, can it," I huffed.

"I think I can get some leeway in while you're gone. You should go rest."

"No, I'm fine."

"Seriously, I—"

"I'm fine!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up. My voice echoed through the cave, bouncing off the walls as Bats flew upward, shrieking in shock at the volume of my voice before settling down and disappearing back into the darkness.

I slowly put my hands on the table. They were shaking. My throat closed up as the words I wanted to say waited behind my lips, cultivating on my tongue with unconfident waiver. I could feel a sharp, acidic lull in the pit of my stomach, and I was so much more aware of the exhaustion deep in my bones. I squinted my eyes shut, trying to rid of the burning sensation that wrought my eyes more as tears began to bead in the corners of my eyes. I put a hand on my mouth, turning my head away so my white hair acted as a curtain, hiding my face. "If I go home, I'm just going to stay up all night watching Joker," I whispered, covering my eyes. My throat closed up again, and I couldn't elaborate on the thought. I sucked in a breath, but it came in shallow, harsh, loudly as I gulped, placing that hand tightly on my mouth again as if to stop the emotions from barreling through. Normally, I'd be strong enough to endure, but this was breaking me down, piece by piece.

Batman stood there silently before he pulled out a chair, sitting in front of me. I looked at him, quickly wiping my tears by patting the pads of my fingers along my under eyes as to not disturb the makeup that I knew was already thrashed from over twenty hours of wear.

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Batman spoke, but this caused more tears to brim my eyelids as I let my head droop forward.

"Why? Everyone else always is," I laughed darkly. "I know I'm not perfect. But I certainly can't stop myself from being reminded of the fact."

Batman drew in a breath. He rested his forearm on the table, tightening his fist and relaxing it before he finally spoke. "Why Joker?"

I cracked a grin, my droopy eyes looking up at him through my heavy lashes. "I was down on my luck without a single penny to my name. My family wrote me off. I couldn't bear talk to my friends from back home, fearing they'd confirm my fears and tell me I was too far gone," I wiped my tears away. At first, my words were wavering, but I gained more strength with speaking. "We may have not met in a conventional way. It may not have been love at first sight, but he gave me a chance no one else gave me. Batman, you have no idea what life had been. . . ." I could feel my face contorting as I attempted to hide my tears. I felt exposed, but I had no will left to hide my voice anymore. "Something about him makes me feel alive. It makes me feel. . .Seen."

Batman softened, but he didn't reply. It was only after a moment of hard thought and question that he began to speak. "And what you two do together? Committing crimes? Terrorizing the town of Gotham?"

I shook my head, turning to look him in the eye. I had stopped crying now, wiping my final tears from my raw eyes with damp cheeks. "Haven't you learned by now, Bats?" I closed my eyes, tilting my head back. "We're all insane. Gotham is insane. There is no escaping madness here," I exhaled, slowly bringing my head back from my lazy stretch. "Until it becomes you. Haven't you felt it yet?" I questioned, tilting my head.

Batman remained quiet. He turned his head to look at the map displayed in front of him, and it was clear he didn't want to continue the conversation. It was enough for me to confirm that my words resonated with him, and he no longer wanted to think about it.

Batman and I continued to examine the map as Oracle cross-referenced the locations with information pertinent to the case. Robin was out roaming the streets of Gotham, giving Batman intel through Batman's earpiece. "Are we going to scope out these locations?" I asked him, but he replied quickly.

"That's a terrible idea. You're the one he's after. He's probably trying to lure you out. The more we can figure out here, the better we can fight out there."

I huffed. "Okay, but promise me when we figure this all out, I get to fight alongside you. I don't think you should do this alone."

"And why would that matter to you?" Batman questioned. I furrowed my eyebrows together. Perhaps he didn't see the bigger picture. Perhaps he didn't see that not just Gotham, but Joker, needed him. Cat and mouse.

"Never mind my reasons," I shook my head. "Let's just make sure we get this son of a bitch."