The Secret's In The Telling by Sakuri

chapter 9

Chapter 9: Quest For Reassurance

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Two weeks later, the moon was a sliver in the night sky and Draco was in hell. Not through Dumbledore's meddling – which still stung to think about – but because of the sickness coursing through him.

He told himself it was a sickness, anyway, but he knew, really…

It was the curse. This fucking curse that seemed determined to destroy every tiny detail of his previously perfect life. Because of it, he was losing everything – right down to the loss of all his silver jewellery, for Merlin's sake…

His father wasn't one to be ignored, and had sent him letter after letter, finally ending in the scarlet red howler which had found him in the Great Hall. Lucius's cold, drawling voice had rang out for all to hear as he scorned Draco for being 'disobedient' and informed his son that he was being cut off until he came back to his missing senses. Draco had torn out of the Hall in fury and humiliation, the urge to hurt anything which got in his way surging through him.

At the time, he hadn't paid much attention to his own reaction.

But since then, it was only getting worse. His temper had quickly turned uncontrollable. The slightest mistake would send him into moods that lasted hours, and tiny slights were enough for him to start fights right, left and centre. He'd had more detentions and lost more House points in this last fortnight than the rest of his school career combined. The worst incident had involved Blaise, who'd made some innocent comment he couldn't even recall now, but which had caused him to storm from the Slytherin common room yelling obscenities. He'd never seen the other boy look so thoroughly stunned.

More than that, though. These moods weren't natural, he was sure. Rather than be satisfied with winning victories in the arguments he started, he'd begun to really, really want to… hurt.

It had started with Potter – didn't it always? – when the idiot had made some flippant comment about Draco deserving what had happened. The truth was… he hadn't actually intended to react the way he had. Thinking back, his own behaviour was… well, wrong. When was the last time Draco Malfoy had engaged someone in a physical fight? The blond had long resigned himself to being small in size and not exactly strong, so his own actions in attacking the taller Gryffindor without the use of magic didn't make sense.

And as he'd stood there, with Potter pinned and helpless, it had sent a shiver of enjoyment through him he'd struggled to hide. In that brief moment, the curse hadn't seemed so bad. He was strong, able to put true fear into the infamous green eyes.

But that was before. Before the urge to hurt and attack and… and – fuck – bite had set in.

He was being driven insane. In the middle of doing everyday tasks it would come upon him. One moment he was strolling the hallways alongside Pansy and the next his very mindset was flickering, changing, becoming vicious. His vision would fade until everything was shown in shades of grey, and the sound of the world around him would come rushing in as his hearing turned canine.

It wasn't hard to recognise the traits. The wolf was taking over.

So now he paced his room like a caged animal, forcing himself to remain in his self-imposed exile. He couldn't be around people! Merlin, the thought of what he might do…

He could feel the creature simmering beneath his own consciousness, its fury becoming his own, its feral wildness infecting him. He wondered if this was what Lupin had felt the night he'd lost control, and for the first time came close to understanding how the man had made the mistake.

He needed… Merlin, he didn't want to admit it… He needed help. Draco didn't have the first idea about how he was supposed to control this, but he knew Lupin did.