The Secret's In The Telling by Sakuri

chapter 31

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Chapter 31: The Other Side of Slytherins

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It was well past midnight, Severus was sure, though he hadn't checked the exact time in quite a while. About six minutes, in fact. His wand lay on the desk nearby, ready and waiting for yet another Tempus charm, due any minute now. While he waited, he stared sullenly into the amber liquid at the bottom of a glass tumbler, idly swirling it and watching the dim light of the room flash burgundy and gold in its depths. It was rare that he drank these days, but he'd felt tonight called for a drop of liquid courage.

He was finding that he didn't do well staying behind to worry and wonder about events he wasn't a part of. Used to being in the very thick of things, experiencing the thrill and the knowledge that he could be caught at any moment, his very life dependant on his own skills as a wizard and a spy, no one else besides himself trustworthy...

He sighed. Now, irony of ironies, here he was relying on Lupin to do the job that was rightfully his. And it was a farce, that was for sure. A Gryffindor playing spy as if it was some childhood game. Who'd ever heard of such an atrocity? Lupin was going to get himself killed or maimed or something equally tragic – not that he didn't deserve the fitting martyr-like ending. It was probably something he'd always dreamed of, a one-shot at glory for the pathetic little man. Yet Severus couldn't help but think of the past weeks of hell he'd been forced to tolerate the werewolf, and what a waste it would all have been if the idiot went and died now...

And that, he told himself, was all that concerned him. Well, perhaps that and the fact that Lupin still owed a debt to Draco. He certainly wasn't worried for the man on a personal level.

He cast Tempus and found it was now a quarter to one. The werewolf was late. Very late. It had been around seven when he'd left, and the Dark Lord didn't usually extend his meetings longer than necessary, even when something unexpected occurred – like the unprompted arrival of a bitter werewolf. Shouldn't he be back by now... if he was coming back at all?

Frustrated, he downed what was left of the drink in his glass, felt it burning the back of his throat, and rose to his feet, agitatedly tapping his wand against his leg as he began pacing the cramped little room. He was restless. He wanted to be out there, wanted the adrenaline of walking on the proverbial knife edge.

More than that, he wanted to know what was happening! Merlin, this was torture. Had Lupin succeeded in his subterfuge, incredible though the thought was? If so, why had he been delayed for this amount of time? Oh God, what if the Dark Lord had demanded a test of loyalty from the wolf? Lupin would fail it, of course he would. He didn't have the backbone to do what was necessary. If asked to prove himself, maybe even hurt someone...

The Potions Master hurriedly placed a steadying hand on the back of a chair, suddenly certain that the werewolf was even now lying dead in a ditch somewhere, the Dark Mark emblazoned in the sky above his head.

No! No, for God's sake, he was being ridiculous. Of course it would take some time to gain the Lord's trust. That was all. Lupin would return soon enough, smug and self-confident now that he'd finally succeeded in this one thing, despite the fact that, really, Severus had hand-led him through everything so far.

Except this. He couldn't help him through this, could he? And that was the dilemma that had already driven him to drink.

With a sigh, he ran his fingers through his hair – a habit he thought he'd cured himself of years ago – and forced himself to return to his seat. Another glass was poured, mostly to keep anxious hands occupied, and Severus sat back to watch the dully glowing embers of his fire, almost willing them to turn green and signal the werewolf's return. Though the Headmaster had previously requested that Lupin Floo straight to his office upon his return, Severus knew with the certainty of someone who'd submerged himself in the man's mind and motives that that would not be the case.