The Secret's In The Telling by Sakuri

chapter 15

Chapter 15: Waiting

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In the days that followed, it became apparent that almost everyone, for one reason or another, was waiting anxiously for the coming of the full moon.

In Draco's case, the reason was obvious. He was dreading the weekend, which rushed toward him like an oncoming train. Again, the useless, overpowering want came upon him, just like before. He didn't want to do this. He wanted to be normal again, wanted it with more force than he'd wanted anything before in his life.

But the wanting was impotent. The train came anyway, its headlights as bright and white as the glow of the moon.

Alone in his private rooms, he considered visiting the Slytherins, but soon dismissed the idea. Being around his friends these past few weeks was a fine and welcome distraction, as well as a foolproof way of convincing himself that nothing had really changed, but he was beginning to notice that he disliked company in the days before the transformation. It made him tense, always afraid the wolf was too close to the surface and would give him away at any moment.

This was related to the reason that Harry was awaiting the full moon. His plans for the DA had come to a temporary halt when the Slytherin had point blank refused to attend any more meetings until after the weekend, when he'd be returned to relative normalcy. Besides, Harry wasn't particularly keen on the idea of setting loose an edgy werewolf to curse his friends. He wanted to prepare them, but wasn't willing to go that far. Both he and Draco had visions of the things that could go wrong – visions that included the blonde's shorter than usual temper and what he might do if made angry. Also, neither wanted to risk the entire DA discovering Draco's curse.

So Harry waited to break the news of his plans to his friends. He'd decided to tell Ron and Hermione first, though only when it was closer to the time. He didn't want to spend days listening to them try and dissuade him. He could just imagine Hermione's scandalised protests and Ron's choked indignity. No, better to wait.

With him waited Remus Lupin and Severus Snape, though for different reasons entirely.

How considerate, Severus had thought cynically, when Albus had first told him they would wait until he'd recovered somewhat before beginning this… experiment. He would have the week to go about mending his injuries and his frazzled nerves before he was subjected to another round of torture, this one involving that pathetic excuse for a man.

Shrewdly, Severus guessed that his own damaged state wasn't the only reason they were being instructed to wait. Albus might like to make himself out to be merciful by considering his Potion Master's ill health, but there was more to it than that. He was worried about the nearness of the full moon. Merlin knew what effect it would have on mental magic.

Severus didn't really want to know. He didn't want to know anything about Lupin's mental world. He didn't want to know Lupin, damn it all! The man was a plague; a pest that had followed Severus throughout his life.

But this time… This time it was worse than ever, if only because it would be so much more personal. Always before, he'd been able to disassociate himself, even physically distance himself. But now… He was being asked to enter the wolf's mind, submerge himself in thoughts that weren't his own in order to protect that mind and those thoughts. It felt… intimate. Horribly, disgustingly intimate.

And in the name of duty he couldn't say no.

Albus had cornered him there. Given him that look that was pointedly unassuming, making it clear that the choice to say yes was his alone, even though it wasn't really a choice.

Meanwhile, Remus was as nervous as Severus was angry. No, strike that – he was terrified. It was hitting home now, as the days passed, exactly what he'd agreed to. Oh, he was still quite determined to go through with it, of course, but the thought of letting another person into his head... Letting Severus into his head!