Love Is Blind [boyxboy love story]

Chapter Fourteen: Asthenophobia - Fear of Weakness

This is a boyxboy love story, which means boy on boy love.  Warned now no complaining.  Chapter is clean.

Chapter Fourteen: Asthenophobia- Fear of Weakness

♥ Adrian’s POV ♫

I became familiar with the police station in the month after the accident.  I could recognize every indent, every scratch, and every man who came and left.  My father could never look at me whenever we entered, looking ashamed as if I stabbed Simon to death.  I didn’t necessarily look at him either, ashamed of myself.

            My mother looked like she was about to cry every time she looked at me and by that, I usually left the house at five in the morning to sit in the park and wait until dark when it was clear.  I sometimes entered the house a minute too early and I kept my head turned to the side so she didn’t have to look at the murderer.

            My friends became nonexistent.  One by one left, some just ignored me until the accident tuned down.  Oscar and Nick stayed close by at all times though and they were probably the only reason why I wasn’t completely tuned out of the world.

            My teachers didn’t exactly take pity either.  They included me more, making me answer the question I obviously had no idea the answer was.  The guidance counselor never went into detail but sometimes told my parents some praise.  It didn’t matter much though because soon enough I saw a therapist and went on medication.

            I sometimes wondered what’d it be like to take all the pills down and end it there…

            But I was scared.  What if I’d just turn into nothing?  That’d also made me wonder if Simon just disappeared.  He just left this world and became nonexistent.

            Then there was my brother.  Ajay hated me the most, he wished I died and that Simon lived.  I used to try to knock on his door and plead sorry to him but he’d tell me to die and bring Simon back when I was done suffering.

            “Ajay…” I knocked softly.

            No answer came and I knocked a little harder, “Please, Ajay, can we talk please?”

            No answer and I opened the door, ready for a pillow to be thrown or something come at me.  But nothing came.  I looked around the neatly decorated room and grimaced at the photos of family were taken out of their stands and now laid empty or me cut out of them, “Ajay?”

            I saw a shine of light coming from underneath the bathroom door.  I stepped closer and hear something crack from underneath my foot.  I leaned forward and saw it was one of my antidepressant pills… my eyes widened and I knocked on the bathroom door.

            “Ajay?  Are you there?” No answer came and I turned the knob.  It was locked, “Ajay?  Ajay, answer me!”

            No answer and I took all my strength to shove the door.  It gave no way.  I tried again and it creaked.  I took two large steps back and tore the lock off the door.  I looked into the bathtub and saw my little brother in a tub of water, with his wrists slit.  Hot tears were already coming on and I lifted my brother from the water and rushed him into his bed.  I used the sheets as a towel and took my cell out to call 911.

            He looked dead, his lips blue but I wouldn’t leave him, “MOM!!! DAD!!!  ANYONE HELP!!!” No one came, and I didn’t expect them to.  My parents were both at work at this hour and I should be too which would give Ajay the chance.