The Canvas

Friday

Everything was blurry, my mind a mess. I stumbled out the front door of my house clutching a kitchen knife. I heard people screaming my name in fear. I couldn't tell where the screams were coming from but, I honestly didn't seem to care. It was cold, I realized I had been wearing shorts. My eyes focused on my legs only to see blood everywhere. I took another glance at the knife and realized what I had done to myself. I stumbled to the bottom of my driveway, traffic was moving fast today. As the cars flew by I saw Eric on the other end of the street. Not paying attention I took a few steps into the street only to be shaken by a car horn. Everything moved so quickly as I saw Eric trying to get to me. I stood still in the path of the car awaiting my death. I used my last breath as a sigh of relief and waited for the final blow.
A horrific scream shook me awake. I awoke sweaty and only to realize that I awoke to the sound of my own scream, it was all a dream. I heard my mom running up the stairs, she opened the door -without knocking- and ran to my side in a panic.
"Emma! What's wrong? Is your cast hurting you?"
It took me a second to think about how to answer. I calmly replied with,
"Oh, sorry to wake you. It was just a bad dream, that's all. You can go back to bed."
She let out a sigh of relief, kissed my forehead and went back downstairs.
I lay in my bed looking up at the ceiling. Sort of wishing my dream had come true. At least today was Friday and I'm going to Eric's apartment after school. It felt like I laid in bed for hours letting my mind drift until I finally thought of looking at the clock. 3:37. Great. I wish it was closer to 7 so I could get ready for school. I tossed and turned waiting to fall back asleep.
I left my nightmare and fell back asleep. This time, my dream didn't scare me, it was just of me, dragging a blade across every inch of my skin until I fully bled out. I laid in the blood and soon suffocated in it.
My alarm scared the shit out of me but I somehow still got out of bed on time. Not wanting to dream of my death again today.
Today ended up just like yesterday, my mom got me coffee and a granola bar, then sent me into school late. I didn't want to pay attention in English so I started to work on that essay due Monday. It probably wouldn't be finished my Monday but I was gonna try. During study hall the next hour I texted my mom telling her I was going to hang out with Alexis after school and I'm gonna sleepover. My mom totally understood and let me go. Little does she know I'm really going to Eric's house and who knows what is gonna go on there.
By the last hour I was hungry but, I didn't eat lunch so that explains it. I kind of enjoyed the hunger pains I get from not eating. I'm also 122.5 pounds, I should be smaller.
After school I was waiting for Eric to pick my up when I saw Kendra. She had a neck brace, a bandage around her head and she was on crutches. I don't remember kicking her or anything but I guess she caused that pain on her own. I still beat her ass though.
Eric drove into to parking lot and I got major butterflies in my stomach. I gently opened the passenger door and got in.
"Hey babe, do you want anything for dinner?"
I blushed at those words.
"Maybe later tonight. I already ate." I lied.
He held my cast the whole way to his apartment while playing with my fingers occasionally. I still thought it was cute. We pulled into the driveway, he helped me out and let me up to his place.
It was small but very neat and decorated. I took my shoes off and set my bag down on the floor near the door.
"Nice place. You pay for it?"
"Uh yeah. My parents like to chip in on certain months to pay but other than that, yeah I do. You really like it?"
I looked at all the decor on the walls and the fancy table and chairs, just everything was perfect. He was waiting for my response when I snapped back into reality.
"I'd kill to live here."
He laughed, "if you want to kill, make it that girl you beat the shit out of, not me."
I realized that I was stronger than I thought.
"Don't worry, I wouldn't hurt you" I snickered.
"Come with me" Eric said as he lead me to his bedroom. He sat me down on his king sized bed and put his arm around me. He made me talk about Luke, surprisingly I didn't cry.
After we finished talking he kissed my forehead passionately, soon kissing lower and lower as he got to my neck. A surge of butterflies appeared as he kissed my neck. Soon after he was on top of me, one hand rubbing up and down on my body and using the other one to keep him from crushing me. I wrapped my arms around his neck as we started to make out. Shit happened and his shirt was off and so was mine. He started to kiss my stomach lower and lower till he got to my pants line. He looked up at me with his gorgeous hazel eyes and I gave him approval to take my pants off. He didn't go any farther with the kisses because I led his lips back up to mine. Soon his pants were off too. We were both almost to the point of sweating. He stopped kissing me for a second and whispered in my ear,
"Are you a virgin? Do you want this?"
I felt a surge of wetness spill through me.
"I'm not and I want it"
He probably assumed I lost it to Luke -which I did- but at least it won't be painful with Eric.
All I remember is him inside me. Moans escaped from both of us as we owned the night.
Next thing I knew, we were laying together, without clothes, falling asleep.