Chapter 5 | Ugly Wings

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Yumi continued her work as routine but in the back of her mind, Jimin’s collapsed image haunted her. Though his text message just then definitely reassured and sent her over the clouds, she felt restless every time she walked past the practice room, scared that when she’d leave work later, she’d find Jimin or another member overworking themselves. Assuming from J-Hope’s tone last night, these kind of situations occurred frequently and handled quietly behind their fans’ eyes and ears. Though she didn’t like it, she’s been around enough idols through interactions as SoYou to know that in the entertainment industry, self-improvement was critical to stand out. It was like they had to collapse once to be considered ‘serious’ trainees by their agency.

It was a mindset that was poisonous to all idols.

But she couldn’t do anything about it and had to move on.

Completing the last of her work, Yumi returned to her desk. She took out her notepad then and scribbled down her thoughts--her grievances, sadness, and worry--that had occupied her mind the entire day. She often does this as meditation and often, in some unexpected manner, these venting and scattered thoughts could become lyrics for a song. Swiftly editing what she had written so far, she smiled lightly in satisfaction. Ultimately, it became lyrics full of encouragement--like a prayer for comfort to a special someone.

"Cry when you want to cry. Don’t purposely hold in your sadness. So that you can smile again, I’ll embrace you. When you’re tired, I’ll lend you my shoulder so that you can rest for a bit.

I pray no tears in your dreams… I know you’ll fly high in your life. Although this world tries to look at you with a small view, I can confidently say you’re the only one.

Find your broken dreams again. Don’t say that you can’t. To make that dream come true, I will help you. When you feel like you can’t breathe, close your eyes for a bit and think about your future.

Don't cry again.”

She only managed to complete the second verse when exhaustion hit her. Glancing around, she realized she was the only one left in the office. The single light from her desk lamp shined painfully on tired eyes after focusing for so long on her lyrics. And no I wonder she was drained. It was already 2 AM. She sometimes lost track of time when she got absorbed in composing though she would avoid bringing that into the office. But in this special instance, she unconsciously did so because these lyrics were for Jimin.

Letting out an extended yawn, she moved to the staff’s break room to sleep. It would be time for work again in a few hours anyways.

***


The next morning, Jimin was completely refreshed and energized. He got ready and guided the other dazed members to the car to head to the office for practice. Pausing before the production area, he peeked inside but could not find Yumi amongst the brightly dyed crowns inside. Though she had declined his offer of gratitude, he wanted to at least thank her personally so he searched a bit until he entered the break room. There, Yumi was curled on the sofa with a tight grip on her winter coat. Jimin couldn’t help but chuckle at her appearance as it reminded him of V. During the winter, his best friend also slept like this--like an adorable puppy.

Slowly crouching beside her, he shook her shoulder carefully to wake her up as it was nearing 9 AM. Other staff would be coming in soon. When she didn’t move at all, he tilted his head and shook a bit harder. “Hey...woah!” Gasping in surprise, Jimin found himself in a tight and warm embrace. Half-awake, Yumi had wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Jimin jerked back but stopped halfway when he realized had he pulled her any further, she would’ve fallen off the sofa. “Ah, careful…!”

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