He saw a hero and a friend.....but all i am is a monster

Chapter 12:The Truth of Why and Backstory of Matthieu

Mercer isn't a he, it's an IT~ Peter Randall
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Heller:I'll ask one last time Ironwood, why did you do it?
Matthieu and Alex get ready to tear him to shreds but Ironwood spoke.
Ironwood:You wanna know why James Heller,
Heller nodded and so did Alex and Matthieu.
Ironwood:Because I was looking forward to creating the perfect weapon to battle the White Fang and someone else but that all went away when the strongest of you three escaped and helped the other two escape.
Ironwood, Alex, and James look at Matthieu.
Matthieu:Do you think it was worth it? All those kids died because of you they never got to have a perfect life, a future. You took it away from them so let me ask you a question. Do you think even the worst of people can change, even if they tried hard enough?
Ironwood didn't answer and looked down.
Matthieu: If you need me I'll be putting cinder into bed. Team if you want to come, come on but if you don't then do whatever.
Matthieu then left to put the tired Cinder to bed while his team followed leaving Alex, Heller, Aero, Oz, Glynda, and Ironwood.
Oz:Was that true what he said Ironwood?
Ironwood:Yes, Oz it is But you have to understand....
Alex: He doesn't need to understand. You Atlas fucks took away my little sister and experimented on 250 kids and only 3 live from both tests. It sickens me Ironwood and because of you I don't have a normal life. Now I'm going to go and if I get another message from Matthieu you're dead.
Alex then leaves and Heller looked at Ironwood and left. Aero then falls asleep on Glynda and they fell asleep on a chair waiting for Matthieu to comeback. Ironwood and Winter were talking about something.

With Matthieu
In Dream
A 12 year old Matthieu and a girl named Alice were playing hide and seek.
Alice:Come on Matthieu we got to find Cinder!
Matthieu:Alright Alice, let's find my sister.
Matthieu and Alice found Cinder 13mins later
Timeskip to a 16 year old Matthieu and a running 17 year old Alice
Alice was running from a cloaked figure she couldn't see their eyes and they looked like this

Alice:Why are you after me?!?
The figure didn't respond but pulled out a rifle and shot her in the back of the knee. Alice now later on the ground crying from the pain and because she was about to die.
Alice:Before I die I would like to know who killed me.
???:I'm so sorry Alice but you have to go.
Alice recognized the voice it was her friend Matthieu!
Alice:Why Matthieu?! What did I ever do to yo...
Alice never got to finish as she was shot by Matthieu.
Matthieu:Why am I relieving this memory?
Matthieu then heard a voice and turned around and saw her......Alice.

Alice:Why did you do this to me? What did I do to deserve to die?
Matthieu:I'm so sorry Alice I wasn't myself to...
Alice:You're not sorry. This all happened because of you. This is all your fault you should have killed yourself. Oh, wait you can buy you think you can redeem yourself but you can't. This is all your fault. You failed to stop yourself from becoming the enemy.
End of Dream
Matthieu awoke with a jolt he looked around the room and saw his sister sleeping in his bed, Max in the top bed above his, Mason on the left bed, and Ender above him.
Matthieu:I need a drink
Matthieu then walked out his room and went to an old friend,Junior.
12 hours later a drunk Matthieu came into Beacon and passed out near the elevator. When he awoke, he was still drunk and went into the elevator up to Oz's office. When he arrived he fell face first on the floor.
Matthieu: That Was *hic* fun. Oh hey *hic* guys.
Everyone in the room besides Aero and Glynda were shocked.
Ironwood: Is he even legal to drink?
Winter: He looks to young for his age?!
Oz:*sigh* Matthieu why are you drunk?
Matthieu:I am not drun*hic*k and even if I was it was for a reason.
Qrow:Kid you are falling on the floor and you going *hic* truly shows it.
Matthieu rubs the back of his head.
Matthieu:Okay maybe I'm a little wasted but that's only because my brain brought up something I wanted to forget.
In Matthieu's eyes there were nothing but pain, regret, and sadness. Then Aero and Glynda wake up and they see Matthieu's condition.
Glynda:Oh my oum, is Matthieu...Drunk?!?
Aero:Of he course he is.
Glynda:Wait he gets drunk on a daily basis?
Aero:Unfortunately, yes. And Matthieu you need to stop before you do something you'll regret.
Matthieu: Hey who gave you permission to be my fucking guardian?
Glynda:He only cares for your wellbeing.
Aero:Idc if I'm not your guardian I only care about your wellbeing.
Matthieu:Well do you know how it feels to kill innocents, family's. Do you know what it's like to MURDER your only friend in cold-blood. And that same friend hunt you every night and then say it's all your fault or you should kill yourself.
Glynda:Matthieu...
Aero:No Glynda let him vent his anger. I've had the same situation.
Matthieu:I have lost count of how many people I had killed. I can name all the organizations I've been in. With HER, with a pmc called Atlas, with the Ghosts, and with the assassin creed. I can name all of my ranks too. With HER her feared assassin, with Atlas a Cmdr but they were all killed by the Sentinels, with the ghosts I was also a Cmdr but SHE HAD TO KILL EVERY SINGLE OF THEM AND SPARRING ME!! With the assassins I am a grand master but SHE HAD TO KILL EVERYONE THERE AS WELL SAYING THIS WILL KEEP HAPPENING IF I DON'T FUCKING COMEBACK. THATS WHAT MADE A REAL GHOST THAT DAY EVERY FUCKING EMOTION AND FEELING PASSED RIGHT THROUGH ME!!! SO TELL ME DOES IT SOUND LIKE I HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO LOSE!
TO BE CONTINUED...
(I've hidden a reference in here. Can you find it? Comment if you find it.)