Torn up. ~Flamingeos Fanfiction

Chapter 155

My eyes stayed staring at the door Geo had just stormed out of as tears trickled down my pale cheeks. Everything span around me as my shaking body sat in a lonely space that caused me to feel empty yet so full of emotions. 

I sat up and stared at myself in the mirror. A girl who I didn't recognise stared back at me. A timid, nervous girl who was lost and scared, and had colourless, washed out skin and tired eyes. My eyes then trailed to my body, and I lifted up my top to see my stomach, which was covered in red hand marks and scratches. I wanted to destroy it, I felt as though it wasn't mine anymore, as though nothing was mine anymore.

Suddenly, the door knocked, and I quickly put on my clothes before allowing the person to come in. It was Jack.

"W...what happened?" He asked me as his wide eyes stared into mine. "Geo... he's leaving?"

I nodded, my eyes focused on the floor as my arms wrapped around my stomach. I felt tempted to squeeze it until I suffocated, maybe life would be easier if I did that. Not just for me but for my friends too. 

"I've... are.... you..." He stayed where he was as his confused eyes stared at me, "Dylan? Really?"

"W-what?"

"You've liked Dylan all this time?"

I nodded as I felt a heavy weight drop on my heart. Why is no one acting suspicious over this, why does everyone think that I'm saying the truth when I say I've always liked Dylan? I'd think that it would be obvious I'm being forced to say all of this, but I guess not. 

Jack slowly walked towards me and then knelt down beside my quivering body. "I mean... I'd have a go at you, but damn you look depressed." I felt my body freeze when his hand rubbed my back, and fear instantly filled inside of me like water filling a cup. "Lucy, I'm not gonna hurt you." He sounded shocked, and instantly let go of me. 

It's obvious he can see that something's up. But he can't get himself to understand what it is, and that killed me. I'd do anything for someone to realise that my life is being controlled.

I couldn't get myself to look at Jack. My eyes stayed fixed on the floor as I felt his stare into mine. My confidence had completely gone, I didn't feel like Lucy anymore. I felt like someone else, someone who I didn't like. Someone who's vulnerable and withdrawn.

Our silence was soon ended when Isla ran in. 

"Oh! Lucy, Geo's-"

"She knows."

"No, he's decided to stay." 

I didn't know how to feel about this. If Geo stays he'll see me and Dylan constantly acting as though we love each other, but at the same time I felt unusually comforted and less alone by the fact that he'll be in my presence again. I wonder why he decided to stay...

"But he's staying in another room, so Dylan will have to stay with you." I nodded even though I felt disturbed and frightened just thinking of me having to share a bed with him. "Are you... okay with that?"

"Yep." My voice was a tiny squeak which even I could barely hear. After a while of silence and concerned eyes staring at me, I walked out of the room and locked myself in a toilet where I cried uncontrollably on my knees so no one would hear.

A sour taste filled up in my throat, and before I knew it I was throwing up in the toilet. 

"Lucy!" I heard Jack yell, "are you okay?"

"Yeah..." I lied, soon after throwing up again before exploding into coughs. 

"Are you sure?" His panicked voice had changed to one which was comforting and soft, and it instantly caused memories of when Jack and I were very close, maybe a bit too close, to overwhelm me. Whenever I was upset he'd know and would always talk to me in that voice. There was something so sexy about it, the way his voice would drop to a deep, quiet one which always found a way to make me feel better. But nothing could make me feel better at this moment. 

"I promise."

"If you say so..." I heard him go to walk away but stopped. He suppressed a sigh before deciding to actually leave, and I found myself throwing up again as tears escaped from my bloodshot eyes. 

I've had so many low points in my life, like when Geo lost his memory, when Jack "died", when Ariel died, when my mum died... but none can compare to what I'm going through now.