FOSTER BOND # BOOK 2 (COMPLETED)

BREAK UP 2

chapter 6

It was more than a painful breaking up with Amber since I had no idea just how much I cared for her even though love was not part of it. I might not have been in love with her, but we were very close, my heart hurt all the way back home. Breakups suck. During the time I was out my phone kept buzzing no stop, Keran had been calling and texting me incessantly. I ignored it all, but she was ripping my heart out of my chest with her texts: begging me not to f**k Amber, begging for forgiveness, begging... telling me how much I'd be hurting her... She was the reason I broke  up with Amber.

Keran was more important to me romantically or otherwise. How could I sleep with Amber knowing that it would gravely pain my foster sister, the woman I loved, the woman who loved me... I hated Keran. She didn't allow me to try living without her; she didn't allow me to try maintaining a normal relationship; she didn't allow me to escape her...i retuned home just after 1 a.m. and went upstairs. I quietly opened Keran's door, careful not to wake her up, but she was up nonetheless, lying in her bed in total darkness... weeping in silence.

"Did you do it? Did you..."

Her stifled sob kept her from finishing.

I lay next to her, looking absently up the ceiling. "Keran," I sighed, "I hate you."

She turned to face me, studying my face. "You didn't... you didn't!"

I shook my head. But said nothing

She didn’t need me to say it out all loud.

She pressed her lips to mine and slipped her tongue into my mouth. It was such a powerful and intimate kiss that I felt like crying. I longed for her with every cell in my body. We tangled and lapped in such a tender, slow-paced kiss.

I needed to force myself to exit her sweet mouth an hour later, gazing into her eyes in agony. "What are we going to do?"

"Whatever you want, sweetheart," she softly whispered. "I just want us to be happy."

My eyes got another visit from those tears from earlier. "Do you think... we might never be happy?"

"No way. With a love like ours? It's not possible."

Tears were now running down my cheeks. "Then why do I feel so sad?"

She stroked my tears off. "Sweetheart, don't cry... I love you so much. It breaks my heart to see you so sad."

The house was silent, and her room was pitch dark as she was lying atop me, an aching expression on her face.

"I broke up with Amber," I sighed in tears.

"You did?"

I nodded, sniffling. "Why don't you just... let me go, Keran?"

She shook her head. "I can't, baby. I tried, trust me... I just can’t"

She gave me an emotional kiss before sending me her bright loving gaze in the darkness.

"Did you really go see a shrink because of me?"

"Don't do that, Dennis. You're hurting now, and you want to hurt more, but I won't let you."

I shut my eyes only to open them and have my tears streaming down my cheeks. "So you did go to a shrink..."

She kissed my eyes and tears but didn't confirm or deny.

"I don't deserve to live," I sighed. "I hurt you. I hurt Amber. That's all I do... hurting."

"But it's not what you're doing now, is it?" she whispered, her voice affecting and sentimental. "You're loving me now. You're making every tear I shed because of you worth it. Every hurt I felt, every heartache... you're worth it, Dennis. All of it."

"I want you more than anything"—I brushed her hair from her tearful eyes—"but I can never have you."

"Yes, you can... you just need to believe, my love; that's all you need."

I kissed her slowly with all of my heart. "You go sleep now, angel."

I rolled her off of me and left her crying in her bed.