Darkest Desire

Chapter 12

I worked all weekend so I haven't seen or spoken to Glaiza since Thursday night. I keep telling myself it's for the best but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it with the way I've been letting it eat at me. Tonight is Monday and it's the first of three days when Paul won't be home and Glaiza will be. I know she knows Paul is gone but based on the way she left things Thursday, I doubt she cares much. I half expected that she would eventually explain if I did something wrong or at least tell me what upset her so much but the last I got from her was the slam of the bedroom door after she walked away.

I can see why she hasn't been in a relationship. She's obviously clueless when it comes to how she should treat a girl, which surprised me because I got these vibes from her that she's really a decent woman. However, her actions during and after sex seem to contradict her character. It's as if pieces of the woman she used to be bleed over into the woman she's trying to be.

If any other person ever treated me like she did, it would be the one and only time. I don't put up with the things I've seen a lot of my friends put up with. However, I found myself continuing to make excuses for her, like something could actually justify her actions last week.

I'm beginning to fear that maybe I'm not so tough after all.

That fear is immediately confirmed with the skip of my heart as soon as I step off the elevator. There's a note taped to my door, so I rushed to it and pulled it down. It's just a folded piece of paper without anything written on the outside of it. I opened it: I need to run an errand. I'll stop by at seven if you want to come with me. I read the note several times. It's obviously from her and it's obviously for me but the note reads so incredibly casual that for a second, I began to doubt that Thursday even happened.

She was there, though. She knew how that night ended between us. She knew I must be upset or angry but nothing in her note reveals that at all.

I unlocked my door and walked inside before I can work myself up to the point of beating on her door to scream at her.

I dropped my things once I'm inside my apartment and read the note one more time, dissecting everything from her handwriting down to her selection of words. I wad it up in my hands and throw it towards the kitchen, completely pissed off.

I'm pissed because I already know I'll be going with her.

I don't know how not to.

***

There's a soft knock on the door at exactly seven o'clock. She punctuality pisses me off and there's no reason for it. I have nothing against punctuality. I have a feeling every single thing Glaiza does tonight is going to piss me off.

I walked to the front door and opened it.

She's standing in the hallway, several feet away. She's probably closer to the other door than to mine, actually. She's looking down at her feet when I opened the door but she eventually lifted her eyes to meet mine. Her hands are tucked away in her jacket pockets again and she doesn't lift her head all the way up. I took this as a sign of submission from her, even though it's more than likely not.

"Want to come?"

Her voice invaded me. Weakens me. Turned me into liquid again. I nodded as I stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind me. I locked it and turn around to face her. She nodded her head towards the elevators, silently telling me she'll follow behind me. I tried to read the expression in her eyes but I should know better.

I walked towards the elevator and pressed the down button.

She stood next to me but neither of us spoke. It took the elevator what seems like years to get to us. When it finally opens, we both breathe a quiet sigh of relief but as soon as we're inside and the doors close, neither of us can breathe again.