I Would Kill For You

27. The Sacrifice

❝ i think perhaps i will always hold a candle for you – even until it burns my hand.

and when the light has long since gone .... i will be there in the darkness holding what remains, quite simply because i cannot let go. ❞  

ranata suzuki

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A special thank you to CJAlexsandra for all of your kind words! 

WARNING: This chapter contains heavy, sensible themes and triggers, such as suicide. Reader discretion is advised. If at any moment you feel triggered, please stop reading. 

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I was woken up by the sun rays that poured through the window onto my face, and it took me a moment to realise that I wasn't in my bedroom. The walls were of an immaculate white, so bright it hurt my eyes. Next to me, curled up in a chair, was my mom, sleeping peacefully. I had fresh flowers on the nightstand, white lilies. My favourites. 

I was wearing a large hospital gown and had bandages around my wrist. My eyelids felt really heavy and I felt like going back to sleep. I tried to remember how I ended up in a hospital, but nothing came to my mind. 

"Mom?" I whispered, contemplating her face. She looked as if she had cried the whole night. She had dark circles under her eyes, and her hair, usually arranged into an elegant updo, was now messily falling over her face. Apprehension made my stomach turn. I had the feeling that something really bad happened. 

She woke up with a startle. She smiled kindly at me and sat upright. 

"Good morning, my dear." she greeted me, rubbing her eyes for a moment. "How are you feeling?"

"Drowsy. My head hurts just a little bit. What happened? Where's dad?"

"He's in the hall, with Damian. The poor boy hadn't moved at all from the bench outside your door. He had guarded you the whole night." she chuckled, skimming the chair on the floor closer to me. She reached for my hand and took it in hers. 

Hearing his name clicked something in my mind.

You wanted Damian all to yourself, didn't you?

The text I received from him, me sneaking him into the house, our heated kiss, his confession: I love you more than anything on earth, all unwinded in my head.

"Do you want me to call them?  They'll both be thrilled to see you."

And then his beautiful image was replaced by someone else's. Ellie, grabbing my shoulders and hauling me forward, with a strength I never thought she was capable of. My forehead, ramming into the corner of the table, an immense pain spreading through every nerve of my body. Hot blood trickling down my face, colouring my vision crimson. A pillow shoved onto my face forcefully, covering my mouth and nose. I blinked, trying to swallow the hard lump in my throat and restrain my tears.

"Where's Ellie?" I asked her out of sudden, leaving her speechless.

Her expression changed completely. The corner of her lips tugged downwards, and she avoided my piercing sight. She exhaled wearily and bit her lower lip.