Homophobic - cash #Wattys2014

Chapter Eleven

flashback// Nash's POV

I walked down the street to the cafe. As soon as it came into view it was like i forgot everything I had planned to say. Why was I so nervous? I felt my hands begin to sweat and I started burning up, suddenly wishing that I had changed into something cooler. I opened the door to the cafe and looked around spotting cameron sitting in a booth at the very back. He was drinking a mystery liquid and running his hands through his hair. He looked up when the bell on the door dinged.

His eyes were red and puffy and he looked paler than normal. He must have been really upset. I found myself adjusting my clothes and then I walked over and sat down.

"soo.." Thats all I got out before he told me everything.

//

"When we were younger I always thought that my crush on you was just stupid and it's was only because we were such close friends. I hoped I would grow out of it because even then I knew you were homophobic. After a few months I realized that it wasn't just a small crush and it wasn't going to just go away like I had hoped."

I see him a take a deep breath and my eyes never leave him. I wanted to hear everything.

"I talked to my mom about it and she said that she suported me being... gay. She's the only one who knows, besides you, now I guess. She said that some things aren't ment to be gotten over. Some things are worth fighting for. (a/n wise words from mama Dallas) But I have no way to fight for you because even at just the mention of the word gay you flinch. I tried giving up but every time I saw you my heart seemed to take over and all I could/can think about is you."

Im trying to process all he is saying but it seems like it all coming at me too fast.

"for the last few months I've been going through pure hell. It's like my mind doesn't have an off switch when it comes to you. All I've been thinking 24/7 is how much I want you and that is never going to happen. I told my mom and that when she said that maybe I should a get a fake girlfriend, you know in case you started to assume that's was gay. She suggested and she was so sweet that I couldn't say no."

Is he really that scared of losing me?

"It wasnt until resently, well not that recently about a month or so ago that I realized my feelings for you weren't just a crush. I realized that as crazy as it may seem and how stupid it really is that I was in love with you. Crazy, stupidly, idioticly in love with you. And as much as I wish you could reciprocate the feelings I would be fine with just being able to know that you weren't...arent disgusted with me. Like you were at the movie theater."

His voice cracked at the end of his long confession and I hadn't realized, until I felt something drip on my arm, that I was crying. He was looking at me with pleading eyes probably hoping that I would agree to his terms, but during his speech I figured something out.i figured out that I didn't hate Cameron. I didn't even slightly resent him for his feelings towards me.

I was actually slightly flattered.

"Cameron.. I really don't know what to say but I do know that you're my bestfriend and I'm really sorry about how I acted at the theater. I'm sorry that you got upset over me and I'm sorry you cried over me as well because honestly, I'm not worth it. I love you, you're my absolute bestfriend and I'm not going to let this come between us okay?"

He nodded a grin stretched across his face. We talked for abit longer after that and then I said we should probably get home, it was almost 1 am.

When I got home I changed into my pajamas and curled up in my bed thinking about everything that happened tonight. After a few minutes I drifted to sleep. I began to dream the same dream I had before about Cameron. But this time I finished it.

~ hii guys(: I'm sorry it took me so long to update but I've been really sick! I hope you guys like it? Tell me what you think in the comments! And guys some of y'all commented some really rude things on my last chapter so please guys don't get like that. I really love hearing from y'all and it's really upsetting when you guys start putting eachother down. I deleted all the negative comments as well. I love you guys please don't be like that!! And this chapters goals is going to be 15 votes, 90 reads and 15 comments! You guys can do it! Haha I lub chu guys

Xoxo em