Southside Boy

Baby, Baby

{Flashback}
School started not long ago, and I started dating Hal around the same time. We've been together a little under a month and while he's a sweet guy, he'll never, ever, compare to FP.
Fred Andrews is throwing a back to school party tonight, his family has a small cottage on Sweetwater River and his parents said he could throw a small get together.
Knowing him it won't just be some small get together.
I wasn't planning on going since I knew FP was going to be there, he is Fred's best friend after all, plus morning sickness has been taking a real toll on me lately. But Hal wants to go so I agreed against my better judgement.
So we've been here for a while now, and of course the first person I lay eyes on is FP.
He stares at me intently, watching my every move, watching as Hal entwines his fingers with my own. I stare back at him, wanting nothing more than to run up to him and kiss him with all I have, memories flooding back from our last night together. And then my mind shifting to the baby... our baby.
I suddenly grow very hot and Hal notices. "Sweetie, are you okay?"
"I just, I need some air." I say as I push away from him and rush outside.
I throw up in a bush outside and I don't know if it's an extra dose of morning sickness or just guilt nausea. A tear falls down my cheek as I'm about to go inside and when the first one falls I know I can't stop the rest, so I walk towards the dock and take a seat on the edge.
I dip my toes in the water, it's freezing, too cold for a mid-September day.
I stare out over the water. It'd be to easy to just jump into the water and forget about everything, the cold alone would be enough to numb the pain.
But then I think of a specific night. The night back in June where FP and I slept together for the first time. The night I'm almost positive we conceived our baby. I had made an appointment at the doctors just to confirm the pregnancy and they said I was three months along, so if it wasn't that night it was somewhere pretty damn close to it.
But that was also one of the best nights of my life... any time I'm with FP are some of the best in my life.
Someone sits down beside me and it snaps me out of my thoughts. I turn my head quickly to see who it is and I'm greeted by none other than FP Jones himself.
"What are you doing out here all by yourself?" He asks.
"Just thinking." I say, even though I know he can read me like an open book and he knows something is bothering me.
"Alright what's wrong Siren?"
"Nothing."
"Don't you lie to me. I know you better than anyone and I know something is up, now tell me. What's going on?"
"I, um-" I have to tell him, I can't keep it from him anymore, it's not fair.
"You okay?" He places a hand on my back and I instantly feel calmer.
"I'm pregnant." I say, watching as FP's contorts into utter shock.
"Pregnant huh?" He says and I nod slowly. He chuckles a little. "I guess Hal doesn't have the common sense to-"
"It's not Hal's." FP sits back a little and clears his throat, I just stare at him.
"Oh."
"FP-"
"It's mine isn't it?" He asks and I just nod slowly, he runs his fingers through his hair, trying to come to terms with all of this. "You sure?"
"Positive. I've only been with Hal for a little over a month, I'm three months pregnant." I pause for a moment. "Do you remember where we were three months ago?"
"In the front seat of my truck, here, on the bank of SweetWater River." He stares out onto the water but a small smile crawls upon his lips, I smile a little too. Both of us fondly remembering that night. But then I start to cry.
"Hey what's wrong?" He says as he rubs my back, moving closer to me.
"I'm scared. I'm not ready to be a mother yet, I'm 16 years old. This wasn't supposed to happen."
"Shhh." he pulls me in close to him and I cling onto him. "I know, it's scary. But hey, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." He says, looking me deep in the eyes and I know he means it.
Something overcomes me and I lean in and kiss him. He kisses me back, long and slow, deepening the kiss. I pull him down with me as I lay down on the dock. A tear falls from my eyes as every single possible emotion floods me all at once. He continues kissing me and only pulls back when he feels the tear on my cheek.
"Alice-" he starts but I stop him before he can go any further.
"Don't." I say as he wipes the tear from my cheek. "I need you." I say, almost desperately. He knows and leans in to kiss me again.
He leans back to pull off his jacket and lays it underneath me to make this more comfortable, a dock isn't exactly an ideal place to do this but it feels pretty perfect because it's him, and he's the closest thing to Heaven that I have.
•
He presses a kiss to the tip of my nose and then softly kisses my lips before moving to do up his jeans. I pull on my own jeans and look over at him. His hair is a mess, his skin is hot and flushed, and there's no doubt scratches all over his back underneath thin fabric of his t-shirt. I held onto him for dear life the whole time, letting the feeling take me over entirely. He whispered sweet nothings into my skin as he fell apart and he held my hips so tightly, trying to be even closer together if it were even possible.
My bottom lip begins to quiver and I pull it between my teeth to anchor me not to start crying. But everything is hitting me all at once, like a freight train coming at me at full speed.
FP looks over at me and notices. "Hey," he says worriedly as he moves over to wrap his arm around me. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"
"No, you didn't... it's just..." I trail off not even knowing what to say, he seems to catch on and he pulls me to him, wrapping me in his arms.
I hug him tightly, never wanting to let go of him. He runs his fingers through my hair to calm me and he places light kisses to my forehead and temple.
"Alice, what's wrong? You can tell me."
"I'm just scared."
"So am I." He says as he leans back to look me in the eyes. "But you're having our baby and you're not going to do this alone. I know you're with Cooper now but Jesus, Alice, if you even think for a minute that I am going to let you do this on your own you're crazy."
"Thank you, FP." I say quietly as I lay my head against his shoulder.
He holds me close to him and I feel safe. And for the first time in a long time I feel like everything will actually be okay.