My Favorite Season

Panic Attack

"YOU WANT TO DO WHAT?" I yell.

Mikki winces, "I want to do a kidney biopsy. Now would be preferable."

I pinch my eyebrows, "Let me guess you want a lung biopsy too?"

She nods slowly, "Yes."

I look over at Anthony, "I'm just a piece of meat. Aren't I?"

Anthony chuckles, "She's just trying to help you feel better."

I sigh, "Yeah. Make me sore for a week. 'Cause that helps me feel better."

Mikki pats my shoulder, "Now."

I give Wrigley's leash to Anthony, "See you on the other side."

He laughs, "See you in a little bit, Sam."

Mikki all but drags me to a separate room, "I don't actually need a lung biopsy."

I smile, "Thank God. That was painful last time."

She frowns, "I'm very aware. You made that known to everyone."

She pats a table, "Lay down, please. I have to do a ultrasound, so that I can find the right position for the incision."

I lay down, and pull my shirt up, "I'm having a Déjà Vu moment here."

Mikki laughs, "Port?"

I nod, "Yeah."

She removes the wand, and makes a mark on my skin with a sharpie. She grabs my shoulder, "By the way. If you did want to, uh, you know. Have a baby. You're stable enough that you and the baby would be fine."

I nod, "Good to know, but I doubt that will happen anytime soon."

She winks at me, "You never know."

I snort, "Oh. I know."

She shrugs before gesturing to the door, "After you."

I get up and she leads me to an operating room where I change into one of those hospital dresses. She then has me lay down on the table, and the other nurses walk in. One of the nurses places an IV in my arm while Mikki rubs a local anesthetic over the incision marker. They wait ten minutes for the anesthetic to take affect. Once it does I stare at the ceiling while Mikki works. I do make a point to ask her about seeing a psychiatrist, and she agrees, "I'll send one to your recovery room once you've had some time to yourself."

I hum in agreement before returning to my own devices. I lose track of time until I hear Mikki mutter, "She's still bleeding."

I lift my head a little bit, "Well, hemophilia does that."

I can see her glare at me before she turns back to the incision. I sigh, but I leave her alone to work. I begin to feel a bit sleepy, and Even though she has a mask on I can see Mikki's face become pale. I clear my throat, "I don't, um, uh, feel so, uh, good."

Mikki looks at me with wide eyes, "Stay awake, Sam. You need to stay awake."

"I don't think I can," I whisper.

Mikki hands the tools to one of the nurses, and she comes up to my face, "Samantha. Don't fall asleep. Fight it. Just a little longer. Think about Anthony if you have to."