Letters from India - Part 2

6. Plans for Malaysia - March 1989

Plans for Malaysia

March 13, 1989

Whitefield

Sai Ram!

Sai arrived in Whitefield on 10 March. I just arrived today, 13th, for visa. My request I made in January for more time was just refused.

Poor Kutumba Rao. I think Sai meant some other “cancer” was canceled. He’s become much worse. He’s just skin and bones, looking very ill and they’re pushing him in a wheelchair. It’s a heart-rending sight. He’s not eating they say. I remember when dear Kasturi took to a wheelchair.

I wonder who put the idea into your heard that I am sitting in the sun? I stay out of the sun, don’t worry. If you’re really concerned I suggest sending some nice strong USA sun screen. That comment about “if you had a man – husband - he would make sure you took care of skin condition” was very distasteful. It shows how marriage has actually got under your skin – humph. Well, it’s clear here that gents don’t know anything but working and eating. The wife takes care of everything so I'm sure no gent would notice any wife’s skin condition, let alone want to do something about it. So your comment was all the more without meaning. Anyway, Venkamma is taking very good care of me, so there. Imagine, you, my trusted friend, writing such things!

Re: visa I may go to Malaysia again. Venkamma gave permission for this, only after I convinced her I wouldn’t need your financial help, “poor parents” as she put it. She really is affectionate to you Maha, and doesn’t want any trouble for you. I may need financial help anyway but, I won't ask.

Love,

Divya

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Venkamma Feeding Me

March 16, 1989

Whitefield

Dear All,

Unfortunately my situation is still in the clouds and unsure, therefore I have no father information. The ashram offices have hinted that if I have visa, I can stay inside all the time.

I got a Guest House room, thanks to Sai’s Grace and Mr. Hejmadi’s sweet nature! He saw my passport and letter up to August (“under consideration”) and asked, “Hmm, you didn’t get any further correspondence on this visa?” He’s the one who gave me the “Quit India” government letter in January! I said, “That’s why I'm in Bangalore!” He compassionately gave me room and let me pay the rent anyway! Luckily I saw Sri Lankan Mommy who told me to give her room number (C-12), otherwise no room in Guest House!

Sometimes I don’t feel like eating then Venkamma feeds me. When I was about to leave for Whitefield, Venkamma said, “Go, go to the canteen, have idlee and then go.” I said, “No, no, I never eat before going on a bus journey, I’ll throw up, definitely.” She was contemplative for a few moments then stared at me and said, “If I give you idlee, will you eat?” So I was very delighted at the opportunity to get her food, prasad! I said, “Yes, yes – I’ll eat! I’ll eat!” She immediately said, “See! See how you are! You have money but don’t buy – only if people give you, you eat; that’s your disease.” I said, “No, no! I won't take from anyone like that; only if you give it’s a different story, a different story.” But I was remembering the day before, three people had given food and I had eaten – so I didn’t buy much that day. Venkamma stared and stared at me with kindness and love, then gave me idlee. Of course, I had no trouble at all on the bus, no feeling of sickness at all, which I always get even if I eat a tiny bit on the day of journey.

Sai is here in Whitefield granting morning Darshan and evening bhajan in the hall, as usual. It’s normal amount of people.

Parvatamma is still ill and not coming to bhajan. Venkamma asked about her and I'm supposed to report Parvatamma’s condition back to Venkamma, but no one of course will tell any of the true details, only answering, “She’s like that only.” What that means, I'm not sure!

With Love,

Divya