Letters from India - Part 2

10. Back in Prasanthi, Invited by Parvatamma, Scolded by Mataji - June 1989

Arrive Back, Room in South Prasanthi

May 30, 1989

Prasanthi Nilayam

Dear Peoples,

Sai Ram! I arrived safely in Brindavan on 21 May. My first Darshan, I was front row. Swami ignored me except for a fleeting side-long glance after He had passed me. It didn’t even seem to say, “Oh, you’re back!” It seemed more to say, “What are YOU doing in Whitefield?”

Although Venkamma had told me to stay only one day then return to Parthi, I stayed on. I knew the marriage of her grandson would be going on and it would be crazy there.

In the following days I got all back rows, and Swami nicely ignored me completely, not even looking nearby me! Sai seemed to be distant and not too friendly. He mostly stayed far from all, not taking many letters, not talking much, and scolding some people especially if they tried to touch His feet. His new favorite expression is to give a disgusted look and grumble, “Bad habit!” to anyone attempting namaskar (touching His feet). In the days I was there, He had a gruff look about Him.

I knew the grandson’s wedding would be on May 25th, so I left to Parthi on 26th May. Oh! Prasanthi Nilayam! I forgot who wonderful it was!

When I came, Venkamma had already left to get Sai’s Blessings in Whitefield. Two days later she returned, but I only saw her a few seconds while she gathered more saris to go to her new granddaughter-in-law’s village. Now I don’t know when she’ll return, maybe three days or even two weeks!

So it really feels empty here, no Sai and no Venkamma! Never mind, I'm happy in Prasanthi Nilayam. :-)

I was very, very pleasantly surprised to be happily greeted by the office, and given my “old room” of South Prasanthi C-32! Now this one accommodation man is in the habit of giving me South Prasanthi! I hear that once he starts, he’ll always give it without fail! My luck seems finally good!! And the owners of this room only come once in two years! And I'm alone, and rent is only Rs 150 a month. This is inspiring - next step is to convince Public Relation office to give me resident status - hope, hope!

Meanwhile Sai isn’t expected to come here until 10 June. Now Prasanthi Nilayam is full of mothers and children of all ages, hopefuls of admission in Sai’s schools.

It’s not hot here anymore, only a bit. 

So, all is peaceful and quiet here, (except for playing children!) No Mataji, no volunteers, no Darshan line-up! I feel very comfortable with the new office staff, nice innocent people! No harsh Mr. Immortal! I hear the Immortals have gone to USA to visit their sons. And Ravana (mean PR office man) has been sick for weeks, not coming to the office.

I am peacefully doing prayers, giong to morning program, cooking, cleaning and washing clothes, settled! No one to talk to all day, except for a few Indians who ask, “When is Swami coming?” in Telugu. When Sai comes He’ll change Prasanthi Nilayam overnight, into a place of confusion and unrest!

I'm not working at all, except watering Janakima’s plants once a day. (Mandir volunteer – the one Mataji told me not to do anything for, two years ago!)

Rohani wanted certain prayers which are only available in the Indian languages, so my new project is translating them from Telugu into English, including: 1008 names of Ganesha, 1008 names of Lakshmi, 1008 Names of Subrahmanyam and pujas and slokas of Subrahmanyam and Ganesha.

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu!

Love,

Divya

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Parvatamma Calls and Scolded by Mataji

June 11, 1989

Prasanthi Nilayam

Dear All,

Recently a big event happened – or rather two.

One, Parvatamma has called me to come to her (via her daughter, who has been here). I’ve decided it’s better I don’t go – who knows what Parvatamma will want to involve me in! And if I don’t comply, if she’ll get angry! Venkamma told me if the daughter asks me again, I should say I don’t have time, that I’m busy going to Darshan, bhajan and meditating. In the meanwhile I'm attempting to avoid the daughter at all costs. I must control this mind and not think of Parvatamma. I feel so much for her but, outwardly being close to her is just not possible because of her worldly personality. What to do??

Now Parvatamma's health is a bit better but all have left her except her one older friend. If she was a personality like Venkamma I could go, but she isn’t. Anyway what God Wills, will come about. I'm doing my part. It is excellent mind-control practice for me, you know I have a weak spot for Parvatamma. I hope I can resist.

Next, Mataji caught me and yelled at me, warning me to be careful of whom I talk to. I’ve also been warned by several residents that I have no discrimination. Means, I shouldn’t feel that all are equal, must talk only to respectable English residents of the ashram. This scolding has scared me enough for me to change completely - I'm not talking to anyone in public or in the room! I'm not sitting outside at all; either I'm at Darshan, bhajan or on Mandir verandah. Actually it’s a nice life, quiet and inward, like a real ashram. Practically my only real outside contact is Venkamma, so this mind doesn’t have many distractions, only Venkamma and Swami and bhajan!

It’s interesting that right as this happened, I rushed to Ganesha to beg for protection. I usually do three pradakshinas (going around) but this time on my third one, who should stomp up to Ganesha and sit on the small wall surrounding Him, but Venkamma - rare occurrence to say the very least! So of course, I kept going round and round, doing her pradakshina also, asking her mentally for protection also. Every time she stopped me and gave advice on where to sit so Parvatamma wouldn’t see me when she comes in the morning, etc. I felt much peace and joy!

Later Venkamma also mumbled words against Mataji, “Who is she to tell you to stop talking to children? And poor Janakamma, who will carry the heavy buckets of water for her?” (I also took my leave from Janakamma, Mandir volunteer who I was helping about 15 minutes a day. Mataji intensely dislikes her and Mataji could get me in trouble if I was discovered to be helping Janakamma.)

Swami is coming again for Darshan, but mostly not coming close. Sometimes He takes a letter or two, but from 5-6 feet out so namaskar isn’t possible.

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu

Love,

Divya