idfc (Klance)

Chapter 13

(Still Keith's POV)

-Warning self-harm-

There I am. Sitting on the cold bathroom floor. Crying. My ass hurts like hell. My arms hurt. My legs hurt. Everything fucking hurts. I'm only in my torn up boxers and my torn up shirt. My cuts on my arms are bleeding from the pressure. I get up slowly and walk towards the mirror. I open the medicine cabinet and grab the razor. 

My back slides down the door and I roll up my ripped up sleeves and press the cold blade against my fragile skin.

Why do I have to be so fucking weak?
Why did I let him win over me?

This was a mistake. I should've never agreed to his deal.

I wish that when I was abandoned by my father, I would've  just simply killed myself.

Then I wouldn't have to worry about anything.

I didn't have to feel pain anymore.

No one can make me feel small anymore.

I slowly slide the blade across my arm.

The blood drips down and onto the white floor.

My mother died and abandoned my happiness.

My father abandoned me and left me with depression.

Rolo found me.

He helped me.

He gave me food and shelter.

But in return I gave him my virginity. 

What a mistake.

Rolo abandoned me, leaving me broken.

What did Lance do?

Did he abandoned me too?

Did he abandoned my hope that was rising from the very first time I saw him again in the café shop?

I didn't want Rolo to hurt him.

I told him to run.

I wanted him to help me back.

But I guess he didn't.

Everyone has abandoned me.

Maybe I'll abandon my life...

There was blood everywhere on my arm.

I quickly get up and wash it off in the sink. 

I wrap some bandages on my arm and pull my sleeve back down.

I quietly open the bathroom door and see Rolo on the bed sleeping.

I grab Lance's duffel bag he left and head downstairs.

On my way to the door I put clean sweats on.

I walk out into the fresh breeze and walk alone towards the meridian highway bridge.

My life will finally be over.

Maybe I'll see mom in heaven. If there is one...

Like Lance says, "God has to make everyone's life unfair at some point, it's just how things go." God did make my life unfair.

Not once. 

God won't do it again.

I'll be seeing Him.

I look up at the stars. 

I never noticed it has gotten dark.

My feet were dangling off the ledge of the bridge.

 I smell the faint scent on Lance's duffel bag one more time before dropping it behind me. I forgot I had it.

Goodbye.

I stand up trying not to lose my balance.

I take my last breathe.

Before I decided to jump I hear someone calling my name.

Mom?

No...

Lance...

"KEITH!"