Scarlett
I'm here, but I'm not really here because it's really hard to be here when the person you love isn't all there.
I know that doesn't make any sense but how I'm feeling right now makes no sense whatsoever.
I'm here with Lucas but my mind is focused on Asher, not in a romantic way but in an, I'm really fucking worried about you way.
Loudmouth, pain in the ass Asher whose seemingly sole purpose in life is to make my life as uncomfortable as hell, has been replaced with a meek, agreeable shell of the Asher I befriended at that first meeting. Sure he was an asshole when we first met and I thought there would be no way we could ever be friends, but after that night where we exposed all of our wounds, our friendship was solidified and there was no going back. Once you confess your sins and completely drench a guys shirt in your tears that's it. You're basically forced to be friends.
Ever since dinner with his mom Asher has been eerily quiet. Concerningly quiet. He doesn't even bother me why he used to do. Usually, he's pressuring me to hang out with him but the last two occasions that I had to push, he insisted on staying in his room. So instead of going out we laid in his bed and watched shitty Netflix shows.
He only showers and changes his clothes when forced by either me or his mom and his impeccable hair that he prides himself on hasn't had so much of a drop of gel in it.
While all this is concerning the thing that scares me the most is the dull look in his eyes. His brown eyes hold a certain pain in them that I have only seen once before - in my own. Back during the darkest times of my life when there was nothing worth living for. There's nothing behind those eyes.
I'm worried about him because I see him spiraling down that dark path and I can't figure out how to help him out of this. I'm trying my best, but what if my best isn't good enough to help him.
Asher's deteriorating mental health is taking a toll on me, although I didn't realize it at first. I'm sure Lucas notices that I have been distant and distracted lately, but I'm trying best to not let the bad affect one of the only good things I've had in recent months. I'm trying to juggle a blossoming relationship that I really want and decaying friendship that I really don't want to lose.
For the sake of Lucas and even myself, I'm trying my best to not let Asher's state affect our relationship, while simultaneously helping him. Telling him my fears about Asher would just open up a whole other can of worms and I don't really want to have to go down that path with Lucas. This isn't the way you start off a relationship. Not with exposing dark secrets from your past that you can't seem to bury.
