emotions, jack gilinsky

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amara rahman

i scan the floor for any more garbage, my eyes catching the goosebumps that began traveling down my arm.

i hear footsteps near, "did you fix it?" i ask, doing one last sweep.

"not quite." derek replies, a deep frown etched on his lips when i look up at him.

an exhausted sigh escapes, "alright..here, hold this. i'll go see."

before he could reply, i hand him the broom and walk past him and into the kitchen, towards the back.

my eyes widen at the mess of wires in front of him, "uh..what did you do back here?"

"i tried."

i bite my lip, staring at the wires for a few seconds and attempting to move them around.

i fetch my phone, calling my mom up. "mom?"

"amara?" she questions, "what's wrong?"

"the lighting is a little messed up at the diner. der—well, i tried to fix it but i have no clue what to do."

she sighs deeply, "just..turn all of the lights off and lock it up. i'll go there later and see what's going on. besides, i don't want you to be there late. you've got school tomorrow."

i cringe at that.

tomorrow was the first day of junior year, and i was dreading, as usual. the summer just went by a little too fast.

"okay.." i mutter, "bye."

she ends the call and i frown, setting my phone down. "derek!"

"yeah?" he comes into view, his face indulged in his phone as usual.

"you can go home. my mom said she'll come by and fix it."

"sweet." he grins, slipping his apron off with ease and carelessly tossing it into his own basket in the back.

i turn back to the box, carefully closing it and locking it. i turn to my own bin, grabbing my keys and my coat.

"mrs.rahman told me to take you home." derek mentions from behind me.

"it's fine." i mumble, "i'll walk."

"alright." he shrugs carelessly, grabbing his keys and walking out, leaving me alone in the diner.

i chew on my lip as i try to find the correct key that locks the doors, given i've only locked up a few times.

when i finally do, i cross the street and begin walking down the path towards my home.

maybe i should've went with derek. but i know if i did, i might just seep into his drama with his really stupid girlfriend. not to say he isn't any more stupid than she is.

derek was one of those populars at school, simply looking for a job that his parents probably forced him to get. tragically, he found himself at my family's diner.

ever since then, he hasn't been able to get out. i'm not even sure if he likes working there, or maybe he's forced to work there because his parents are so in love with us for some unknown reason.

i recalled this one time his parents came by to 'check on him' or whatever and ended up talking with my parents for hours. by the end of the day. they were all certified best friends.

derek and i didn't click as much as they wanted us to, though. our interests are somewhat similar, but we never have any desire to talk to each other at school, the diner, or anywhere. and it's always been like that.

and honestly, i didn't mind.

the house had been noise filled by the living room tv, which had been blasting basketball highlights.

i enter the living room and sigh at the sight of my 20 year old brother, fast asleep on the couch.

i grab the remote out of his grasp, turning the volume down and contemplating how to tell him that he missed his shift today, again.

i guess i didn't have to, though, given he had stirred in his sleep and one eye popped open. "oh hey." he murmurs, slowly sitting up.

"hey." i reply harshly, "you missed your shift."

"shit. that was today?"

i roll my eyes, "you're an idiot, javi."

i leave him and head up the stairs, entering my room and slamming the door shut, letting out another exhausted sigh.

my phone buzzes, and i check the notification, seeing a snapchat from my best friend, bri.

i open the snap and instantly smile at her sarcasm when a picture of her pops up, smiling and holding a thumbs up with the caption, 'can't wait for school!'

i double tap on her name, holding my phone out and snapping a picture of myself, captioning it, 'me either! :('

my floor began to rumble, signaling that someone was home.

when we first moved in, i got the room directly above our garage and i've despised it since. though, i've learned to live with it.

after i headed downstairs to greet my dad and got to watch him lecture javi about not coming to his shift, i retreated back upstairs and got ready for bed.

before i could get in, i heard javi speaking to a friend on the phone, "rafael? gilinsky? forreal?"

i recognized the name. he was javi's friend back in high school. i haven't seen him in a while, though, so maybe they drifted apart.

his younger brother is in the same grade with me, too. jack gilinsky. derek's friend.

a few seconds pass and javi speaks again, "oh..wow..hospital?...dad! i need to go—"

his voice muffled as he walked away from the spot he'd been in previously, where i had been able to clearly hear him from the comfort of my bed.

my curiosity led me out the door and downstairs. "...not now, javi. it's too late." dad says, shaking his head.

"dad! he was my friend, i gotta go see him."

i come into their view, and my dad's attention turns to me. "how do i know you aren't gonna go somewhere else?"

he furrows his eyebrows, "seriously? why the hell would i make this up—you know what, i don't need to ask you. i'm an adult."

"you don't act like one." he replies harshly, "skipping your shifts, coming home late. you should be lucky i even let you out of the house—"

"i'll go with him." i interrupt, "to make sure he just goes to the hospital."

javi turns to me with an unreadable expression before turning back to my dad, "fine, i don't care."

"okay, then go. only for an hour. amara has school tomorrow."

javi hastily walks past him, and i take it as my cue to follow him. "bye." i mouth to my dad as i pass him and into the garage.

i enter javi's car and watched his expression hold in its hostile position. "relax." i tell him.

"he's in a coma."

my face fell and i turn to the window, "oh..how? what happened?"

"i don't even fucking know, amara."

i shut my mouth, trying to understand that he's upset. i rarely let javi snap at me like that without some sort of smart comeback. but i bit my tongue this time.

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