emotions, jack gilinsky

49

amara rahman

i guess i was wrong.

my name was still thrown around in every conversation at school, and stares were set on me. now, i was also known as the girl who'd gotten christian greene expelled.

"amara! wait up." i stop my jog, turning to look at nate who'd approached me. "i haven't seen you in forever."

"pretty sure i saw you on friday."

"i mean like, talk." he elaborates as we begin jogging together. "i thought we were friends."

"of course we are." i murmur. "honestly, i thought you were mad at me about the whole bri thing."

"oh, i am." he replies. "but i'll get over it."

"i'm still sorry." i sigh. "she liked you for years, nate. and you only noticed when she moved on."

"about that.." he sighs. "don't freak out, amara."

"why would i freak out?" i ask, nervously turning to face him.

"we hooked up on saturday."

i come to a halt once again, stepping back. "you're kidding me, right?"

"i feel so bad!" he exclaims, throwing his hands dramatically in the air. "her man seems like a good dude, too. and i feel like shit."

"god, nate." i mumble. "why'd you have to dump this on me?!"

"you're the only one i trust with this!" he defends, before softening his tone. "..you don't have to do anything. i just needed to tell someone."

"do you think she's gonna tell edwin?"

"you tell me." he shrugs. "you're her best friend."

"she will, eventually." i predict. "i can't believe she'd do that."

+

"hey."

i look away from my locker to see jack standing beside me, smiling warmly. "hi." i murmur in response, trying to hide my cheesy smile just dying to come out.

"plans after school?"

"no more diner, i guess." i shrug, though i was silently cheering. "so i'm pretty much free."

"great." he says, before lifting himself off of the locker and walking towards the doors. "meet me at my car when you're done."

i grin at him, turning back around him and closing my locker. my heart didn't waste anytime warming up as i walk towards the back parking lot.

"so, what're we doing?" i ask as i sit myself in the passenger seat, only for him to push his lips against mine.

i'd almost pulled away out of shock, but managed to continue it. "so that's why we're in the back parking lot?"

he shakes his head, followed by a laugh.
"you think i'm trying to do it right next to our school?"

"i have no idea." i admit, smiling widely at him.

"i was looking for you all day yesterday, you know?" he asks, and i let my smile slightly drop.

"yeah. i went to my dad's apartment. and then to the hospital."

"i heard." he said, nodding. "what's going on with your parents, though?"

"they're getting back together." i inform blankly, shaking my head. "it's stupid, but whatever. they'll realize their mistakes soon enough."

"i'm sorry." he apologizes. "so you're going back?"

"in a few weeks." i lean against the seat, letting out a loud sigh. "i'm so tired of it."

he leans forward, wrapping his arms around me and bringing me in for a hug. i climb over to his side, completing the hug and leaning onto his shoulder.

a harsh knock on his window interrupts our little moment, and i pull away from his grasp only to see derek raising his eyebrows at us from outside.

jack rolls the window down while i head back to my side of the car. "dude, we were supposed to get lunch."

he furrows his eyebrows at derek, "huh?"

"yeah." he mumbles, his arms crossing. "the whole group."

"oh." i murmur, going to open the door. "i can just—"

"sit down, amara." derek says, "you're in the group, too. i'll get the others and we can ride in your car, jack."

"dude, i only have five seats."

"we'll make it work!" he hums as he makes his way back towards the school.

jack sits back with a sigh, before looking at me. "welcome to the group, then." he teases, and i roll my eyes.

"what, am i the replacement for gloria?"

he frowns, "okay, no. you're not."

he leans forward to kiss me again, and i give in, only for a few seconds.

ten minutes later, the car had been jam packed and we were all on our way to chipotle.

while we were eating, jack's hand found mine underneath the table. even though everyone assumed whatever we had going on, it still felt like a secret. it felt like cj.

i let go of his grasp, "i'm gonna get some napkins."

my hands felt cold as i walked up to the napkin dispenser, and my eyes caught another group of students, who looked like seniors. they were all staring at me, and suddenly my stomach didn't feel empty anymore.

i slowly make my way make to the table,
"..my dad wants me to come home, so i gotta go."

although i'd whispered it to jack, everyone else was still looking at me. "okay." he murmurs, getting ready to go. "i'll take you."

"no, it's fine." i assure. "his place isn't far from here."

his eyebrows pull together, "amara.."

"i'll see you later."

after waving goodbye to everyone else, i made my way outside of the restaurant. the group of seniors were still on me, some looking up and down. i'd almost passed them, until one mumbled something under their breath, "whore."

i manage to make it to at least his apartment complex before breaking down. i sit myself down on one of the couches placed in the lobby, covering my face with my hands.

my legs shook uncontrollably, and i attempted to stand up so i didn't look weird to the employees behind the desk. but i couldn't.

i was completely locked down, my breath becoming uneven as i try to calm down at the same time.

i almost stopped trying, until i felt a hand on my thigh, causing my legs to stop shaking. i slowly look up at the boy beside me, and he didn't give me the chance to say anything before wrapping his arms around me.

"i'm here for you." jack mumbles, "always."

~~~
i love i love i love them