emotions, jack gilinsky

8

amara rahman

"nobody even acknowledged it today." bri tells me, following me as i collect dirty dishes from each table.

"they will when i go back tomorrow. i wouldn't be surprised if jack told everyone."

"i think he's too busy shoved up meredith's ass to even care." i look up at her and furrow my eyebrows. she nods, leaning on her elbows. "they're kissing, holding hands. you know, couple things."

"oh. okay."

speaking of, the door swings open and meredith enters, followed by a couple of her friends.

"sorry," i mutter, "we're closed."

she frowns, glancing at the menu. "can i just order something really quick? to go?"

i look at her for a few seconds before sighing in defeat and leaving the dirty dishes bin, walking to the register. "sean!" i call, "there's one customer left. sorry."

he grunts behind me and meredith reads over the menu once more. "can i get two ice coffee's and two croissants, please?"

i draw on a smile, punching a few things in the computer. i look up at her and she'd been looking back at me.

"are you the girl that puked the other day?"

i glance and bri and she frowns with a shrug. "yeah."

i expected some snarky comment, or some sort of 'stay away from my boyfriend' snap. instead, she blew me with surprise. "how are you feeling?"

"um," i hesitate. "better. thanks for asking."

she nods with a small smile. "i didn't know you worked here."

"yeah." i say, "my parents own this place."

"it's cool."

"thanks."

"here." sean mutters, handing me a bag, which i hand to meredith.

she smiles politely, "thank you. and sorry for the inconvenience."

"it's all good. have a good night."

+

derek bursts out into laughter the second he saw me, "damn! you really puked on him?"

"you're pathetic." i spat, walking past him and sitting in my designated seat.

"chill, girl. take a joke."

"i've been taking the same joke for three days now."

"oh, leave the poor girl alone." nate says. "how you feeling, amara?"

"fine." i mutter, hiding my head in my hands.

i hear a familiar voice though i refused to lift my head up. the same embarrassed feeling from friday rose up in my throat just the way the bile did.

"ms.rahman. put your head up, it's disrespectful to put it down while i'm lecturing." ms.nawell calls out.

i lift my head up, my cheeks burning. everyone was looking at me. jack was looking at me.

that class seemed like it dragged on forever and when the bell rang, the relief only lasted for a short amount of time before i realized this is only the first out of seven periods.

i let out a sigh, taking my time to stand from my seat and collect my things.

a hand reaches out, grabbing my book and pushing it into my backpack.

"you don't have to do that." i murmur, zipping my backpack up and finally looking up at him.

"you look tired, just wanted to help." he replies, with zero emotion on his face. how is that even possible?

"sorry for puking on you." i blurt as he holds the door open for me. "i might as well tell you that."

"not a big deal, really." he says, "shit happens."

"yeah." i say, "shit happens."

i stop at my locker and he turns around to face me, though continues to walk. "keep your head up, amara."

i suppress a smile and run a hand through my knotty hair. "will do."

+

the day was actually going well. and jack may or may not had been the reason why.

everything went to shit at lunch, though.

"feeling like throwing up again today?" connor, one of cj's friends ask with a smirk, getting a laugh out of his friends.

"enough." cj snaps at them, approaching me. "go be idiots somewhere else."

i roll my eyes, continuing my pace. "can i sit with you, mar?"

"it's amara." i correct, "and no."

"figured you'd want company, though. bri's not here."

"i know that." i hum, "and i'm fine by myself."

i knew that didn't chase him off. and he still followed me to the table.

sitting down, i look ahead at jack's table.

bri was right, jack and meredith do seem pretty official. she sat on his lap, eating her salad or whatever green item she brought today. jack looked dazed, while the rest of his friends engaged in a pretty heavy conversation.

"coming to the game today?" cj asks with a small smile.

"no."

"oh. working?"

"nope."

his lips form a straight line, "oh."

i sigh, looking up from my food. "you're really making me feel like the bad guy here, cj."

"i'm not trying to, amara.." his hand reaches out, and i flinch when he places it on top of mine. "i want a second chance."

i move my hand back and place it on my lap. "i don't know."

he clears his throat and sits back. "okay."

"hey guys." ravyn approaches us, giving cj and i a weird look before taking a seat next to me.

"hey." we reply in return.

"something i'm missing?"

i glance at cj, then back at her. "nope."

"nothing at all." cj adds.

she raises her eyebrows, "okay..anyway, amara, we should go to the game."

i scowl at her and cj smirks, "yeah, you should."

"i'm, uh, busy."

"doing what?"

i think for a few moments, "i'm..helping javi clean his car."

cj stifles a laugh and ravyn raises a brow, "oh, really?"

i nod and she shrugs it off. her and i haven't been friends enough for her to drag me places, unlike bri.

i look up as derek approaches our table. "let your parents know i can't work today."

i squint at him, "uh, no. if you don't work today, i'll have to."

"then do it. not like you have plans, anyway."

"she does, actually." cj speaks up. "she's going to the game."

i glance at cj and realize this may just be my only chance to get out of work, so i stuck with it.

"besides, only varsity is playing today, so i don't see why you need the day off." i smirk. mentioning that derek isn't on varsity football boils his skin every time.

"shut up."

i roll my eyes, "go away, derek."

eventually, he retreats back to his table. "why can't you just tell your parents to fire him?" ravyn asks.

"yeah, like you did to me." cj mentions, his eyes practically burning into my soul.

"our parents are friends." i tell her, subtly glaring at cj before grabbing my stuff and heading to my next class.

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