emotions, jack gilinsky

54

amara rahman

i lead him up the narrow steps, finally stepping onto the top. "shit." he mumbles as we examine the view. "how'd you find this place?"

"did a lot of research." i admit. "but, that doesn't matter. sit down and i'll get the food."

"you're gonna go all the way back down there and get it?" he asks, and i shrug.

"i wanted to be here when you saw the view. i'll be back."

it felt good to surprise him like this, even though it wasn't much. and when i'd brought the food back up, i spread a small blanket beside the edge.

thin wires surrounded the top to assure protection. but when you look past it, the view of new york city was priceless.

"have you ever been here?" he asks, looking over at me. "like, new york in general."

"once, when i was eleven." i answer. "the diner was going unexpectedly well, and my parents treated it like we hit the lottery. they brought javi and i, then we completely explored everywhere. i wish i knew about this place."

he'd caught me by surprise when his food had been ditched, and he was hovering over me. his smile was as vibrant as i'd ever seen, and his eyes were lit up as bright as the moon threatening to rise before us. "amara, i'm so fucking happy right now. everything feels perfect, i never thought i'd feel this way..ever."

i smile at him, feeling myself get a bit emotional. "i'm so glad you're happy..you deserve to be."

"you do, too." he informs, his hand slowly running through my hair. "i feel like i've known you forever."

i lean closer, settling things by our lips connecting and nothing else. our food was set to be cold by the time we pulled away, but i doubt any of us even cared.

i'd planned all of this on a whim, so i had no idea how the rest of the night was going to go. but we ended up talking, the entire time.

and by the time eleven o'clock rolled around, i'd grabbed the small cake i had set to the side, sticking one and seven candles in the middle. "i can't believe you're younger than me."

"shut up." he scoffs playfully. "by like, three months. settle down."

"you're the one that sounds defensive." i tease, grabbing a lighter from my bag. "it's eleven fifty-eight. there's two minutes left."

"this is the best birthday." he informs, and i grin at him.

"you've been gassing me up for the past like, five hours." i tell him, "you're gonna get tired of it real quick."

"no, way." he says, sitting back. "i'll never get tired of you."

at a safe time distance from midnight, i light the candles. we watched together as the clock on my phone struck twelve.

"happy birthday." i whisper, the flame illuminating his eyes. "blow the candles."

he smiles, blowing lightly while the wind did rest of the work. i lean over the cake, wrapping my arms around him.

and when i pulled away, tears were filling his eyes. "this year has been fucking terrible." he admits, "i didn't even think i would live past it..but here i am."

i use the back of my hand to wipe the tears, smiling at him through my own. "..here you are."

THE END