King of the Alphas

Chapter 11 : Attachment

I'm not sure how to feel anymore. I love my two new friends and I love being with them but inside I feel empty, and there's nothing I could do to fill the vacant area within me. I always blame myself for letting myself be kidnapped, I should've fought harder.

The only thing I've been able to do to forget about it all was my art. I ended up spending the rest of this week finishing up some artwork I had begun. Earlier, Alice bought me some more supplies along with a new sketchbook. It's a huge improvement from the small notebook and pencil I had been using. My mind often wanders as I draw and my hand subconsciously begins doing the work. My imagination runs wild and the outcomes are not always what I'd like to see.

Once I snapped out of the daze I was in, my eyes snap back to the sketchbook in realization. I had drawn a beautiful landscape; there were burning trees in the distance, a flooding river, a rapid tornado, and a fault line beginning to open. I looked at it in awe, but I had to think to myself, why would I draw this?

I shook off the thought and closed the book inhaling a deep breath, there's been too much thinking lately. Although I was spending time with others, I couldn't help but feel lonely. Technically, I'm still a rogue with no one to link with. My mind was oddly quiet yet loud with my own intrusive thoughts.

Thinking back to a few nights ago, when the royals and I went out to dinner, I couldn't help but feel unease.

Despite the constant fighting and tension between Kayden and I, for one night, we put that aside and finally got to know each other.

I told myself I wouldn't get attached, but I never realized how hard it would be to resist the bond.

I'm still angry with him, I truly am. Despite the abuse I've gone through, I will not allow myself to be treated like dirt by my own mate, it's too much to bear.

I want a relationship with Kayden, I want to feel loved and protected and everything I missed out on those years I was taken. But I'm damaged goods, I'm not strong, I'm not beautiful, and most importantly to a mate, I'm no longer pure.

Despite his sudden interest in getting to know me, once Kayden uncovers my past, he'll see that I'm unfit to be a Luna and his mate.

The thought of becoming rogue once again made my heart rate increase rapidly. My breaths grew shallow as I could feel an oncoming panic attack.

I heaved, doing everything I could to clear my mind and calm myself down yet nothing worked. My throat constricted even further and my head was pounding, black dots sprouting across my vision.

As I fell unconscious, someone began banging on my door, causing me to jolt one last time before my body went limp.