A Six-Word Story II

Chapter 32

Chapter 32: "If a girl cries over a guy, it's normal. If a guy cries over a girl, he loves her."

I woke up with a bad hangover, but how come it didn't stop my mind from thinking about Dixie? How come it didn't stop my heart from feeling the hollow that she had left? I'm breathing but why do I feel like I don't have anything to live for? I reached for the pillow that she used and hugged it, thinking that it could somehow make up for her absence. 

My eyes burned as I felt a tight squeeze in my chest. I felt so pathetic crying while hugging a pillow. I recalled the day I went home to an empty house.

"Jeck, where are you going?" asked Phem.

After dinner and a little chitchat, I decided to go home. Pasakay na ako sa kotse ko ng maabutan niya ako. I wanted to get home early because Dixie is alone at the house, and spend more time with her. I don't know why but I feel incomplete when we're not together. Basta ang alam ko ay gusto ko lagi siyang kasama. 

Gusto ko siyang isama ngayon pero ayaw pa rin niya kay Phem. Dixie hates the latter so much that even a mere mention of her name makes her mad, and as much as possible, I want to avoid that. Ayoko rin naman na mainis siya sa akin. She can get really bitchy sometimes, but I love her nevertheless. 

"Xie-xie's waiting for me."

She smiled. "You really love her."

"My world revolves around her."

"Just propose already, for goodness' sake," she said rolling her eyes with a smile. Ngumiti lang ako ng tipid. "But come on. Just stay for one more hour. Kantahan muna tayo."

I was about to decline when my cousins went out and convinced me to stay. Sara even took my keys. Thus, I had no choice but to stay for another hour. However, it took me a few more hours to get home because Sara got drunk and no one would take her home. 

Mabilis akong bumaba ng sasakyan ko. Umiisip na ako ng paraan kung paano makakabawi kay Xie-xie. Ayoko yung pakiramdam na galit siya sa akin. Hindi ako mapakali kapag alam ko na nagtatampo siya. 

"Babe! I'm home."

Pumanhik ako sa taas. I went to our room, but she wasn't there. My forehead creased as I looked for her. She was nowhere to be found. Where could she be? May pinuntahan kaya siya? But why didn't she tell me? Hindi na ako mapakali ng hindi ko siya matawagan. 

I had a bad feeling. Ramdam ko ang bigat ng dibdib ko habang papunta ako sa walk in closet. Pakiramdam ko ay nabagsakan ako ng mapansin ko na marami ang mga damit niyang nawawala. May iba pang nasa sahig na para bang nagmadali siyang nag empake. Tumakbo na ako pababa habang tinatawagan si Nate.

I went into my car and drove off to God knows where. Nate said he didn't know where his sister is. Inabot na ako ng umaga kakahanap sa kanya pero hindi ko siya nahanap. 

I went to Rock Edge again to drown myself in alcohol. It's how I survive the pain and loneliness each day. Mas mararamdaman ko lang ang sakit at kalungkutan sa bahay kung saan ang dami naming alaala.

"What would you do if you saw her again?" Cliff asked, out of the blue. 

"She broke me," I muttered as I reached for another glass of alcohol. 

"So, you will not take her back."

I scoffed. "That's how it should be, right? But yes, I would take her back," I answered, looking at him.