After We Happened

XVII. Stay

Kabanata 17

Stay.

I was just sitting here in the cottage when I saw the three of them arrive.

They really look like a family.

Fuck.

I wanted to be part of that too.

I wanted to be in that family.

I stood up at lumapit sa kinatatayuan nila. Hindi ko din alam kung bakit ba may paglapit pa ako sa kanila. "Drae! Mommy will take a picture! Smile!" I heard her say.

"Daya! Me too!" sabi pa ng mukha namang kwago na si Stance.

Hoy, Darlin Francisco, 'wag kang lalapit! Hindi mo 'yan gagawin!

Masasaktan ka lang!

Sabi ng 'wa—

"Come on, I will take a picture of you together with your family."

Tangina, self?!

Sinasaktan ko lang talaga sarili ko.

Tanga!

Ang tanga ko lang.

I tried to stay calm when I saw Stance's hand snaked on her waist. Fuck! Ako lang dapat ang nagawa niyan sa 'yo, 'di ba? Bakit ngayon... siya na?

Tangina, sino bang nang-gago?!

'Di ba, ikaw?

After handing to her the instax, I walked away. Tangina, mas masakit pa pala 'to kay sa nung araw na hindi niya na ako pinakasalan.

But, I knew the real reason why she decided not to be with me anymore for a lifetime.

It was all my fault.

I decided to go to the shore. Umupo na lamang ako sa buhanginan.

Fuck, she have always loved beaches, the sea, sunsets, sunrises, stars.

Everything.

She loved everything.

Fuck everything.

After she left, it was too late when I realized na sobrang gago ko at tanga.

I spent a whole year finding her in America, but she was nowhere to be found.

Paano mo nga ba hahanapin ang taong ayaw naman magpahanap?

I decided to stop na hanapin siya ng kinailangan na ako sa business namin. Nag-pursigi na lang ako at nagbunga naman 'yun ng maganda.

Napalingon ako sa kaliwa ko, then I saw her standing there. I wanted to hug her so fucking bad.

I wanted to say sorry.

Pero... paano ko 'yon gagawain?

I wanted us to be together again.