Orbiting The Moon [Snowbarry]

~13~

"Tears are words the heart can't say."

I wake up the next morning and close my eyes trying to go back to sleep even though it's twelve in the afternoon. I'm not going to STAR Labs, I'm useless any way. What does it matter I have my hammer for company. I sigh and hide my face in my pillows blocking out the sun.

I hear someone knock on the door. I groan and get up. "Who is it." I mumble.

"Barry," he responds.

"Go away,"

"I just want to check on you." He says.

"Get lost,"

"Cait will you just open the door." I sigh and open it.

"What?" I ask, he does me a look. I open the door wider and let him in.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I say running my fingers through my hair.

"Caitlin, I'm sorry about Iris." He says guiltfully.

"What, I don't care," I lie, "it hasn't crossed my mind once." Another lie, it crosses my mind every waking moment. Barry sighs.

"I broke up with Iris." He says.

"What, why?"

"She hurt you,"

"Barry, I can't be the reason you broke up with Iris."

"Yes you can, she made you unhappy, she called you useless. She hurt you."

"If it bothered you so much why didn't you say anything?"

"I don't know." Barry mumbles.

"What Iris said, I don't think I'll ever forget it. Do you understand how bad Iris's words hurt, how deeply they cut into me?"

"I understand Cait." Barry whispers.

"I don't think you do though." I say just above a whisper. "Iris sits in a chair on her phone insulting me every single day, and she's right to an extent. Everyone I love leaves or dies, they all leave. I convince myself that it's them not me but deep down I know it's because of me. It's my fault they leave."

"I thought I told you to never forget." Barry whispers.

I love you Cait, always remember that okay. tears spill over my eyelids and flow down my face like a river escaping a dam. Barry hugs me. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his chest.

"Maybe your just scared because for once in your life someone wants to be with you." Barry says.

"No one wants to be with me." I cry.

"That's not true Cait." He protests, I push away from him.

"I'm broken Barry... tell me one person who would want to be with me." I say angrily.

"Me," Barry says, "and I don't care if you believe me but I want to be here. I won't leave this house until you understand that, I will hold you while you cry and laugh with you when you laugh. I will protect you at all cost because I'm so sick of you being hurt. And I know you don't trust people but that won't stop me. I love you Cait and I know you don't believe that but I do, I fucking care about you so damn it Cait just let me understand." Barry says tears falling slowly down his face.

I don't know what to do, I just stand there. Tears pour the salt of my soul onto the surface.

"Why?" I ask quietly. "I'm worthless." I whisper chocking on my words. Barry hugs me tightly. I fall into him and let him hold me. He says nothing, he doesn't do anything, he just holds me protecting me from the outside world. "I'm worthless."

A/n: my emotions