Aftermath

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The first thing you had done post your arrival at the tower was drop Tony off at the infirmary whilst he was still unconscious. Though he had not been physically wounded, it was only fair that he received a proper medical checkup.

Having done that, you retired to Tony's room, looking illusively human once again and not to be heard from since. Sam had informed everyone about what had transpired at the Hydra facility, as a direct consequence of which you were left undisturbed to process and cope with the circumstance. They knew you; they knew that was the way you functioned. Except the one person who didn't and was leaning on your door frame, his adept eyes analysing your every movement.

"James, I know you're there. I have known for fifteen minutes. How come you people forget I can hear your thoughts?" You groaned, your back still facing the man. "And while we are on that subject, no, I don't think Tony is going to help you temporarily magnetise your metal arm so you can grab Sam's Falcon wings from a distance. That is what you think about?"

"James, huh?" Bucky sucked in a harsh breath, "I thought I introduced myself as Bucky."

You were glad that you were facing the wall and not the man himself. "That is the name your friends call you by. It is hardly the term I would use to describe our relationship."

"I see what you're doing." Bucky had taken no effect of your snarky comment. "Steve told me about this. You are trying to insult me until I go away." Your head turned around for the first time since the conversation had started and with hope glittering in your eyes you asked, "Will you?"

"No." Bucky answered without missing a beat. He let himself in and dragged a chair in position so he could sit in your direct line of sight. "How was the mission?"

"You see, that is not the face of a man who doesn't already have the answer." You watched as Bucky put his feet up on the bed, sinking into a more comfortable position. "Yeah, Steve told me about it. Everything that happened with Tony, must've been rough." He finally said.

"Captain Gossip needs to stop running his mouth. And you, get your hooves off my bed." Your eyes widened immediately as your own words fell onto your ears, forcing the realization in. Claiming the bed as your own, however true the fact alone might have been, was a knee jerk reaction; something you had no conscious contribution in. Bucky had heard it too, as was apparent by his gruntled smile and single raised brow.

You gave up the rigidity in your spine and fell plush against the bed, closing your eyes right before impact. "I don't know what to do, Buck. I knew him, I knew I was supposed to feel something for him, but that was it. Like I had to work with that supposition alone."

"You did better than me." Bucky laid out the situation for what it was. "The last time I felt like I knew someone I beat him to a pulp before letting him freefall to his almost certain death. Instead of sorting things out, I ran. As far away as I could."

"And then what?" You felt the mattress dip beside you and concluded that Bucky had left the chair to seat himself on the bed, which was further ratified when you felt his cool metal fingers wrap around your palm.

"And then my past caught up with me, doubled with all its horrors. Yours doesn't have to, (Y/N). It's not too late to make things right."

A faint smile crossed your lips. Tugging on his arm, you pushed yourself up and off the bed, winking at the former Winter Soldier as you headed for the door. "I thought I introduced myself as Maira."

-

Tony was in the lab as soon as he had opened his eyes. He didn't know why, he didn't even know what he was doing - it was all a vain attempt to occupy his mind. Hence the blaring music and the annoyance that came when it stopped. "Why, FRIDAY?" He asked without looking up from his work. "I explicitly stated I was not to be disturbed no matter who requests it."

"Miss (L/N) has override clearance to all of your orders. Has had for the last three years." FRIDAY'S announcement made Tony squirm. Lately, he was having trouble generally existing around you, let alone hold a conversation. When he didn't turn, you felt yourself squirm as well. "I can come back if you're working on something important."

"No!" Tony wheeled without warning causing his arms, which were resting on the table, to sweep everything in their path; as a consequence of which he was staring at thousands of dollars worth of equipments in mid air before gravity pulled them to the ground and burned a hole in his wallet. He closed his eyes, waiting for the sound communicating the financial loss but when all he heard was abject silence, he opened his eyes for confirmation.

Tony's equipments were sustained mid air surrounded by golden mist which could easily be traced back to your glowing hand. "I came to see how you were doing. Possessions can be enervating for the body and soul alike." The gold in your eyes was alleviating, in stark contrast to the daunting vibe they had on their last encounter with Tony.

A warm feeling spread through his heart just like the old times, which scared him more than anything else. "My body and soul are doing just fine, if you must know." The timing was on point to bring his lie to light. As soon as Tony uttered the sentence he crashed to the ground in the process of leaning back, having miscalculated the distance between himself and the table.

"I can see that." With a slightly amused smile, you maneuvered the tools back on the table. Next, your attention shifted to the unstable groaning mess on the floor otherwise known as Tony who, revelling in his brilliance, attempted to hoist himself up using a roller chair, which resulted in an encore of his prior crashing performance. "Let me help." You walked up to him.

"No need, I'm fine." Tony backed away when your fingers neared his forehead, quickly finding support and got back up. You tested him with your gaze. "Define fine. Tony, you just tripped on nothing. Nothing."

"You could say I'm a little tired, among other things." Tony admitted, still maintaining his distance which you were beginning to notice. Bringing your hand up to his cheek, refraining touch as per his wish, you pleaded. "Then let me help. I can make it go away, I can make it all go away."

Although he wasn't looking directly at it, your hand was visible in Tony's periphery and he was doing all he could to not lean into it. The proximity elicited memories of the kiss, which was precisely why he was avoiding contact. If he indulged himself that little bit, he knew self control would quickly become a thing of the past.

He knew you meant well, but the amount of concern you were exhibiting for him was only driving him further on the path to insanity. "Look (Y/N), when I said I would not interfere with your new life, I meant every word, but you gotta play your part here too. You cannot be standing inches away from me every time I turn around, you cannot be looking at me with those maudlin eyes of yours, you cannot.....don't make this harder than it is, honey. Please, for the both of us."

"You think it's easy for me?" You personified sheer disbelief. "I know I'm supposed to feel something, it's like having answers to questions you don't even know. I look at you and I feel this void inside. You might have everyone else fooled with your couldn't-care-less attitude but I feel all of your pain and....and to know that I am the reason behind it? I don't want to be the person who renders you a shell of a man."

"Then what are we doing?" Tony grabbed your wrists with such despondency, you would have bruised if you were human. "Why are you running?"

"Because if not that, then what?" The frailty of your voice caused Tony's grip to falter, if only for a moment. "Even if I do stop running, what do I do? I might never remember who I was, who we were. I might never be the person you are looking for."

Tony pressed your hands to the sides of his face, to give you a sense of reality. He knew how it felt to get carried away; to have your feelings double as a barrier against corporeality. "You're already everything I'm looking for. No matter how hard you want to believe it, you haven't changed much. All I ask of you is to welcome uncertainty and give it a go. Come back, (Y/N)."

"That is an enticing offer. I will give it some thought, on one condition." You were left with a Hobson's choice, one look into Tony's eyes somehow made everything else fade into the background. "You let me heal you."

Tony pulled you into a hug ever so gently, as if the slightest pressure would break you; or him, at this point no one was in a position to judge. "You just did."

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