Being Anna Marie

Being Anna Marie Part 31

I couldn't breathe. Oh god why couldn't I breathe?

My chest rose and fell but the air couldn't seem to reach my lungs. Emotions seemed to deprive my body of its ability to inhale as pain slithered from the depths of my soul and shock snatched the color from my chubby cheeks. My vision blurred, my sight grew hazy as it traveled along the white walls, droplets of dejection slipping from my lashes as my vision wandered over stuffed animals. My heart breaking as agonized orbs grazed over photos of happier times, over unless clutter I once begged to obtain. Red and blue forever tainting my perception as it continued to swirl along the edges of my view as if slowly corrupting everything it touched.

Small fingers brushed back my curls, its strong hold around my small figure being a partial shield to my incoming ache. "Its okay, Marie," she whispered into my ear repeatedly, her body rocking me to her reassurances like that of a warped lullaby. "Its gonna be okay."

My fingers clutched at the teddy bear held tightly to my chest wishing somehow it could protect me from the world. That it could somehow prevent this day from ever happening. My muddled hazel lenses rose from the cold wooden floorboards towards the sight of my father being held to the ground in the hall. His face was pressed into its hard surface, his white shirt crumpled, his skin flushed as the officer pressed forcibly into his spine as they cuffed his hands behind his back. Behind him inside mommy and Daddy's room stood my mother speaking calmly to another officer, her half packed bags forgotten on the bed. The red and blue as always projecting along the walls.

My Daddy groaned in pain as he twisted towards me, his eyes at last clashing with mine, finally seeing the damage buried within golden irises.

"Please," he begged the other officers; his gaze still glued to our figures huddled upon the bed. "Please don't do this in front of my kids."

Pushing away from Drea's arms I rushed towards him somehow knowing inside if I could just get to him, reach him I could help him. "Daddy?"

Firm hands caught me preventing me from moving further, my stuffed bear falling from my arms. I twisted within Drea's hold yelling, "Drea, he needs us."

Her tragic blue gaze remained on the sight of the policemen now forcing our father to his feet. Shame forced his lids closed, that red stain still tainting the front of his white shirt. He turned towards us, his eyes disconsolate as he whispered, "girls, I am so sorry."

They pushed him forward as I once again escaped Andrea's hold to run towards the doorway, "Daddy-."

Clutching the back of my shirt my sister hugged my struggling form close to her, her cheeks wet with moisture as they shoved our father towards the entrance. His strong figure for once appeared so broken as he slumped ahead, those blue eyes usually so full of laughter now extinguished of its former joy as he twisted back to yell, "Drea, you take care of your sister! No matter what, you keep each other safe!"

Footsteps recede into the distance until the sight of him all but vanish as a police woman mercifully closes the door to our small bedroom; shielding us too late from the view of our father's arrest.

My trembling arms rose to cradle my confused mind as my tiny form collapsed to the ground in tears while trying to make sense of the unexplainable. Trying to deal with sadness I was too young to cope with, trying to ease the helplessness consuming my heart at not being able to save him.

Arms once again wrapped tightly around me, my lids meeting as liquid trickled from their closure as I felt lips kiss the crown of my curls. Her own voice hoarse with emotion as my sister murmured, "Its okay Anna. I'm here... I'll always be here to protect you. I'll always be here to keep you safe..."