Escapade | Daniel Seavey AU

25

Why isn't she letting me see her? It's been two days since I last visited her and when I came back yesterday, her doctor—Dr. Travis—had told me that she wouldn't be expecting any visitors today. I didn't know what to think, but abided and headed home, not thinking too much of it. It was only until today did it spark up my concern because she hadn't been in school, and has been locked up in her room. I tried to talk to Jack, but he didn't know what was going on either.

"She's keeping away from everyone," he had assumed, "she knows something's very wrong and doesn't want anyone to worry—her selflessness is getting annoying."

It was later that afternoon did I finally get to see her and she had been oddly quiet. She had her windows closed, the blinds even to dim her room as she just lied there, motionless. When I knocked on her door, she smiled when she saw me, but the smile didn't reach her eyes; it felt forced, wry. I knew something was wrong as well, but I couldn't find the right moment to bring it up.

"Walk with me?" She asked, already swinging her feet over the edge of her bed. I silently nodded, letting her link her arm with mine as the other held onto her IV drip as we walked through the therapy trail the hospital had. "I never knew how people could find this comfortable," she commented, referring to foot reflexology path. "It's just irritating."

"It feels good, keeps you sturdy," I only said. We walked a few more minutes before reaching the pond, watching as the kids of the hospital fed the Koi fish.

"I need you to do me a favor," she spoke up, eyes forward and her voice wavering. A huge part of me knew this was coming—with how she refused to get a blood transfusion and her health at this point, I knew it was happening.

But I denied it.

"I want you to go to my house—well, Jack's house and to my room, and take my journal," she explained, "just keep it... for me."

"Brennan..."

"They said it's terminal," she blurted, her words coming out rushed. Even with the noise from the kids, I could still hear her ragged breathing and shaky words, "And... and to avoid anything worse from happening—" she looked down, fiddling with her fingers "—they... they..." She couldn't continue, tears had already fallen from her eyes and sobs were spilling from her lips. I couldn't say anything, and once again, the only thing I could do was comfort her. I wrapped an arm around her shoulder, letting her tears seep into the material of my shirt, whilst I rubbed circles on her back.

I couldn't tell her everything was okay, because everything was far from that. Me telling her everything was okay was like placing a band-aid over an already shattered vase, it was pointless and not useful at all.

But comforting her could mend the pain she's feeling just for a little while.

I let her cry out for a good five minutes, before she became drowsy and we headed back to the hospital, letting her rest before it was time. I did as she said. I headed to her place, where I met with Jack and his family. The atmosphere proved that they found out as well, since no one was smiling for more than five seconds. I shared a few words with his mother and his siblings, but I knew they were taking it hard.

"She told me you'll be taking her journal," Jack said as he led me to her room. "Of course I don't agree with that, but you mean a lot to her." I found her journal and opened the first page, what displayed in front of me made my chest tighten.

BRENN'S BUCKET LIST

✔ Dye my hair every week a different color