Hacker Academy

Remorse

Cyber looks at me with an uninterested expression. I clench my fists.

"You're fooling around with me. Haven't you had enough fun from playing with other girls? I'm sure you've had your fair share."

"Ada-"

I didn't want to bring this up, but the answer becomes painstakingly clear. When I manage to speak, my voice has lowered to a whisper. "You used me to kill Perl's hopes of dating you."

Cyber only shoves his hands in his pockets, not looking fazed in the least. His lack of concern only makes me angrier as my pulse throbs violently.

"You only use people for your best interest. You never cared for me. You throw me off guard when you visit me. You come and go as you please. You're just like the sky," I spat. "Full of illusions."

Cyber runs his hands through his hair. "Ada, you know I would never-"

"I don't want to hear it," I snap back. "Go play with someone else."

I walk past him and he makes no move to stop me. Just as I thought. He was fooling around with me. A part of me wishes he would grab my wrist and pull me close as he apologizes, and a part of me wishes I will never have to see his face again. I turn around, only to see the back of his figure watching the setting evening sun of HackCity.

When I join Unix and Domain at the counter, I notice his bottle.

"It's half empty," I say.

"It's half full, you pessimist."

"Oh yeah, Ada! I heard you're hacker number 450!" Unix says.

Domain pushes up his glasses. "Is that true?"

I shrug.

"Impossible." Domain pulls out his phone and scrolls through the charts.

"If I'm not sleeping, I'm hacking."

I wish I could be just like you Ada," Unix whines.

Domain and Unix carry on the conversation, but my thoughts are elsewhere. Perl is nowhere to be found, probably restocking at the back, and Cyber is making no move to come back.

I huff in exasperation. He's driving me crazy, whether I want to admit it. He drives me crazy with the sound of his voice, his occasional laughs, and his frequent smirks. And over the months, he's grown to be quite... affectionate.

But Cyber's secret rendezvous with the woman at the pub is still something I can't forget. Does he take hacking commissions? Of course he does. I do. Every hacker takes hacking commissions to make a living. But why would Cyber meet with the woman in person? Unless it was so confidential that no text messages could be left as evidence. I know he has his fair share of secrets, which I do too (but he's hacked most of them- mainly about mother and sister) yet I can't shake off the chills that run down my spine whenever I think back to the conversation. The woman's voice was so familiar...

All I know is, I can't trust Cyber.

"So? What do you think, Ada?" Unix says.

"What do I think what?"

"Do you think I could ever become hacker number 500?"

A switch goes inside of me. It could've been from my lack of sleep, the truth from Perl, the incident with Cyber, or being homesick. My hands curl into fists and I watch my knuckles turn pale white as my fingernails dig into the flesh of my palm, but I don't care. Here she is talking about being hacker number 500 when she spends the whole day watching cat videos while I work my ass off. She doesn't have any mouths to feed yet she fantasizes about reaching hacker number 500 just for kicks.

"Do you know how much shit I go through?"

Unix's eyes grow wide in surprise, and Domain has settled to a silent glower.

"You make me sick."

Unix flinches at my words, but I don't stop. I can't. The silence seduces me to be selfish for just a moment and bask in the pleasure of my achievements.

"All day I work nonstop to feed my family and you can casually wish to reach my level while you're fooling around and doing nothing?" I let out a half-hearted laugh. It's much deflated than I anticipated, and less convincing that I am happy.

"Well, go on dreaming big while you're living small. I'm sure your family will take you in once you're expelled from hacker academy again."

"Ada," Domain warns.

Unix's nose starts to turn red.

"You know what, I'm done. Go earn your living stripping or something, I don't care."

At this, Unix bursts into tears. My flood of anger dissipates, and I suddenly feel remorse for all the things I just said. She covers her face with both of her hands, but I can see the endless stream of tears falling onto the counter. Domain makes an attempt to pry her hands away, but she persists. In a sudden movement, she leaps out of her stool and flees from the Dome.

I lower my head in agony and shame as I know full well that I have to talk to Unix later and apologize. I also have Domain to face. Both tasks before me will not be easy, because when I look at Domain, I've never seen him so pissed.

"You crossed the fucking line."