A Walk On Ice

1: Nothing's wrong

"As long as the baby is healthy! That is what is important!"

The lie most of the parents say whenever their baby is born. Health.. Really? Is that really the most important thing? You've got to be kidding me. If that is, then explain why my mom started beating the shit out of me when I came out to her? On top of that, blaming me for my father's death who I haven't known since I was born. Great. Where's the health? Maybe mental health? Maybe she's thinking that I have a mental disorder because I'm gay, like woah. Maybe?

No.

You've got to be kidding me.

She's crazy, I don't know if the woman in this house is really my mother. I can't even recognize who she is at all! One thing is certain though, I still care for her even if she beats the living shit out of me.

"Melissa! Get up and clean the whole house!" My so called mom shouted from the living room. "Oh dear lord, if you're real, send one of your angels to save me please.. I haven't done anything wrong and I didn't kill my father.." I mumbled and grumpily stood up from my attractive bed. "Coming mom!" I shouted back but soon regretted it as I heard footsteps coming closer to my room.

"What did I hear?!" The monster hissed through her gritted teeth after she had opened the goddamn door. "I'm.. c-coming P-Pa-Patricia.." I tried to speak with confidence but my voice came out frightened and afraid. "That's not what I think I heard.." She slowly walked closer to me while I backed up until my back kissed the wall.

"What. Is. It? Be honest." I gulped while she grabbed my jaws to look at her. "I'm... c-coming...
M-m-mom.." Not so long after I spoke, I felt something cold and hard collided with the left side of my face. It was like her heart; stone cold.

"What did I tell you to call me? Huh? You disobedient piece of abomination!" She raised her hand, about to slap me again.

"P-patricia.." I managed to say while rubbing my cheek that is now stained with her hand mark.

"Yeah, it's Patricia, not mom, okay? I don't have a disgusting and a murderer daughter. Understood?" She left but not after giving me a punch on my stomach. I still can't understand why I'm the one she blames for my father's death, I could barely open my eyes that time.

Anyways, I still fixed myself and prepared to clean the house. I started cleaning in the hallway. I cleaned like nothing has happened. This is how it goes, this is how my life goes as long as I'm not yet eighteen.. How I wish for that day to come closer. I just want to get out of this living hell.

"Melissa! Get me a water," I hastily ran to the sink to get her a water. I approached her in the living room and gave her what she wanted. I was on my way to return to cleaning when suddenly, she held my hair tightly. "Did you get this from the fucking sink?! Are you crazy?! You're gonna make me drink this?!"she said after she's done spatting the water on my face. Fuck this shit I'm out.

"I.. I'm sorry... let me just get another one.." I tried getting the glass from her but she threw it behind me. "Never mind. Clean up that mess, you useless wench." I did as told.

Sometimes I wonder, is she really my mother? If she is, then why on earth is she treating me like this? Like she just conceived me to serve her? Attend to her needs and everything?

Although she always tells me horrible things, I never become used to it. Never. Even if she told me that I'm disgusting and horrible, over and over, I still wouldn't be used to it.

Words hurt more than the physical abuse that my body is bearing with everyday. Both hurt.. but the words hurt me more..

She's my mother, she's not supposed to say anything familiar to what she's saying right now. And even if she always hurts me, physically and mentally, I can't help but to continue loving her.