Stark's Daughter/Tony Stark Fanfiction

Loki, God of being a prick

Many hours later..

I scream as a chitauri flies in through the penthouse window. It tries to attack me but I shoot it in the head, it's body falling on the floor.

It's been going on for a while now. As soon as I got in there I found the small collection of pistols around the room, made sure they were all loaded and stood in the penthouse.

The aliens are weird and give me a metallic vibe, wow, their metal aesthetic is amazing, might steal that for my insta page.

As I'm thinking this, a freaky looking alien smashes through a different window.

"That's gonna cost money to replace you bastard!" I shout, shooting the freaky alien multiple times. My aim isn't brilliant, come on guys.

Suddenly, I see a large explosion outside and no other than Loki god of being a prick smashes through another window.

"Well, what're you doing in here. Last time I saw you, you trapped me in a cage and sent your brother and I plummeting to our deaths. Nice of you to join the lovely party you set up."

"Ah, sorry about that. Well, I do try and entertain my guests." He says, getting up.

Before I can reply, Hulk smashes through another freaking window and I face palm.

"Really Banner?" I sigh.

Loki shouts abuse at Hulk. The hulk's expression turns angry as Loki's turns worried.

"Tear the bitch apart!" I shout, cupping my mouth with my hands.

I do watch happily as Hulk picks Loki up like a feather and slams him into the ground repeatedly. It looks painful. Very. Painful. A small crater is around Loki's still body, great, more repairs.

Oh my gosh, is he dead? Yay.

Wait, oh wait, don't worry, false alarm. Loki's making a weird strangled noise. Shame.

"Puny God." Hulk says, and I give him the thumbs up.

Hulk then lunges away, leaving Loki groaning and coughing on the floor.

"That was hilarious, oh my god." I laugh.

"I don't see the comedic value in that at all." I hear Loki groan.

There was a long silence and I watched as the battle raged on outside, chitauri bodies flying around everywhere.

"Well, before I inevitably go to the Asguardian Prison Chambers for eternity, is there anything you'd like to say?" Loki says as loud as possible.

"Don't try and take over my planet again." I reply, loading another pistol.

"I was wondering, I mean, do you know who your Mother is?" Loki says practically out of no where, still on the floor.

"I'm not having a heart to heart with you." I say.

"Please, do tell me."

"I will put a bullet in your head if you don't stop."

"Maybe your Father has been keeping her identity secret for a reason."

Before I can even open my mouth to say something, something terrifying swerves its way past the window. It's hard to explain. It resembles a serpent, but is metal and is flying. Holding my breath, my eyes wider than before, I race to the window and watch as Dad leads it towards the other Avengers I'm guessing. It smashes into buildings, rubble falling everywhere.

"Are you being serious? What the frickety frackety snickety snackety is that?" I shout.

Loki seems speechless and raises his eyebrows.

Completely ignoring the giant snake demon outside, Loki calls, "I hope one day you truly find out who you are, whether that be through me or through your own findings."

"You don't know anything about me."

"You'd be surprised."

"What do you know th-"

I can't even be bothered to finish my sentence as I see my Dad shoot past the window, a flurry of colours, holding what looks like a missile above his head. A missile. Where the hell did that come from?

"Oh my god." I scream, running out on the landing pad.

I watch as he flies into the alien portal, and it shortly after begins to close. I can see a few avengers fighting on the ground, the fight slowly ending.

"If he dies I'm going to actually decapitate you." I say, craning my neck to see Loki starting to crawl away.

The portal closes, nothing coming out. I hold my breath, wishing that this is just a nightmare, when all of a sudden an armoured man starts falling from the sky.

Wincing, I see Hulk jump and grab him as he's about to hit the ground. We've won, no doubt.

Perfect time for me to get some food, because boy am I hungry.

So I make my way to the hidden mini fridge in the penthouse, pulling out a can of coke and a box of lunchables from the small counter.

"Hey, do you want some lunchables, seeing as you're gonna have to eat prison food for the rest of your life."

He doesn't reply so I get a pack for him anyway, chucking it at his face.

"What in heavens name is this?"

"A lunchable you uncultured swine, you open it up and make mini cracker sandwiches."

Gingerly, as if Satan was about to emerge from the lunchable packet, Loki opens it up.

"Right, so you put some cheese and some ham on the cracker, and boom." I eat my cracker. "Lunchable."

Loki makes himself a lunchable, resting on the staircase as he's still winded from the hulk attack.

Never thought I'd be chilling with the god of pricks eating lunchables and drinking coke, but hey, new experiences, new things learnt.

"Do you like it?" I ask, opening my can of coke.

"Nothing like Asguardian food, but I like it."

"So, what do you know about me then?" I ask, wanting an answer.

I almost, almost, drop my snacks when the whole team of avengers, who all look awful by the way, appear in front of Loki, looking like a bad ass gang. They're all pointing some threatening weapon or some threatening pose towards him.

"Hold on, everyone stay there." I say, running towards the group.

"Right, hold on, and there, got it, carry on everyone, I was never here, woooo." I say, snapping a picture.

This is so my new lock screen.

Everyone looks at me confused.

"Wait, why does he have a lunchable, I thought we agreed not to share them?" I hear Dad say.

"He has to eat prison food Dad, prison food. I wouldn't wish that upon anyone, he at least needs one last good meal."

"I'm just going to pretend that never happened." Steve says.

Looks like the earth is saved, yay.

I never found out what he knew though. I wonder..