Not Good Enough

Big Girl

I stand in the mirror and ask myself,

"Do you think your beautiful?"

Why must I stand in this mirror and hurt myself?

I wipe the tears that fall down my face

Just wanting to be held in someone's loving brace.

Am I too big to find love?

Am I to big to be happy?

All my life I've had to hear the word "fat"

But was I really that?

I always thought there was more to love than your looks,

But In this generation that's all its about.

Not the fact, you got a nice personality, manners and focus on your books.

Am I worth anything?

Am I?

The encouraging words from family and friends just isn't enough 

Sometimes I just want that outsider love.

I play with my pudgy stomach sighing,

What if I starved myself? 

What if I had surgery?

I just want to wear what I want to wear without any judgement

I want to have fun and be carefree without any harsh words

I want to live the life people my age live

But how can I?

Can I get over those harsh words and live?

Can I spread my wings?

Can I be a big girl without the label or the mistreatment?

Can I be a big girl in my own feet?

---Rianne.