Not Good Enough

chapter 14

Andrea Daniels.

We both begun putting our clothes on in complete silence. I remember when we both had sex for the first time...

*flash back* 12 months ago...

"Like I get I shouldn't have looked on his phone but..."

"There's no buts sis, he didn't need to over react like that, guys only over react when they are hiding something, trust me I've had my fair shares with Calvin" Clar said.

We was currently on the phone. When I left I went straight home and didn't want to be bothered but it was now 9pm and he still hasn't even text me to see if I was okay.

"I know but...we were finally on the same page for once"

"But was yall really on the same page though sis? I get what yall did last night and all but did it really clarify your relationship? One minute yall down one minute yall up , its honestly getting tiring" 

"Your tired. How do you think I feel? One minute he wants me next he's smiling and flirting with the next bitch" I said rolling my eyes. "I get he's kinda helped me deal with me insecurities, but if that was all he was doing why does he keep sending me these mixed signals?" 

"Girl I do---"

"Wait...there's someone knocking" I said a little confused.

I got out my bed and headed downstairs. Since my mum was out I don't know who else that could be. I looked through the pipe hole.

"Oh shit...Clar its him"

"Well shit, get off the phone and open the damn door...good luck sis" She said before hanging up.

I let out a small breathe before opening the door.

"Hi.." He said in a low tone.

"Hi" I said matching his tone. 

"Can I come in?"

I shrugged opening the door wider allowing him to come in. It was his first time over here and honestly I was feeling a little nervous.

"Nice crib" He said briefly looking around before looking back at me.

"Thanks" I said in a smug tone. "So what brings you round here then Izayah?"

He sighed.

"You know what I'm round here for Drea, I'm sorry man its just, I don't like people going through my phone like that especially when we don't even know what this is" He said pointing between the both of us.

I let out a small sigh.

"I know, I get what I did was wrong but its a lucky thing I did huh, you still entertaining these females but get mad when I even smile at another boy" I said folding my arms in the process.

"Man... because I don't know what this is. I can admit I get jealous when I see yo---"

"---So how do you think I get when I see you flirting and talking to other girls right in front of me and clearly now you having sex with them"

He looked away from me.

"Its not like that"

"Then what is it like Izayah? I cant keep going back and forth with you, I thank you for making me feel more secure about myself but if that was all you was doing was helping me why do you keep giving me these mixed signals?"

"Their not mixed....I know what I want" He said holding his head up.

"What do you want? Because its not clear to me"

He stepped couple steps closer to me so his chest was right in front of me. He looked down at me with low eyes.

"I want you" 

I chewed on my bottom lip. I don't know what it was or what came over me. I tip toed pulling him closer to me latching my lips onto his. He held me closer closing the gap between us.

"Show me how much you want me" I said in a low tone.

He licked over his bottom lip.

"Where's your room?"

I took his hand and headed towards the back to were my room was. 

"Nice room" He said with a small chuckle.

"Thank you"

He hovered towards me then slowly un done my dressing gown revealing my tank top and his basketball shorts.

"Take it off"

With any hesitation I begun to take off my shorts and then my tank top not even noticing him already standing there in nothing but his socks.

"Woah" I said in a low tone.

This was my first time seeing what he was packing and honestly this man here was blessed. He carefully laid me back on my bed staring dead into my eyes. I never seen this look in his eyes before and I can honestly say it was turning me all the way on. 

"You sure about this?" He said in a very low tone.

I just simply nodded. No time for talking. I leaned up and kissed him instantly then begun to pull him down on top of me. 

*End of Flash Back*

"D..." 

His voice shook me out my thoughts.

"What Zay?"

"Common man..."

"No Izayah we can't keep having sex and thinking it solves everything because all your gonna do now is act like nothing happened and lay with the next bitch tonight" I said turning to face him. "If I'm what you want you need actions and sex isn't the only action I'm asking for"

And with that I headed back downstairs. I now honestly wasn't in the mood to mingle with all these people now.

"Walk with me" Clar said pulling my arm and walking off to the fare end of the garden were no one was. "Spill"

I rolled my eyes now.

"Same old"

She shook her head.

"You need to stop giving it up if he ain't giving you nothing in return sis, you know better"

I chewed on my bottom lip.

"I stupid in love Clar, I keep thinking sex is gonna keep him and let me have him all to myself but its always the same shit but this time I think I'm serious, If I wanna talk with other guys I will without feeling guilty because he doesn't care" 

She nodded agreeing with me.

"Just do what makes you happy"

I nodded.

"Gimme some love and put ya happy face on" She said opening her arms.

I walked into her hug and rested my head on her shoulder. I honestly felt defeated at this point.

"I love you Drea, you know that" She whispered.

"I love you too"

Tbc....

just a lil sum sum, next chapter will be a little more juicy