Ticci Toby X Reader Smuts (& Lemons)

Part 14: Reality

"When will you ever learn?"

You closed your eyes, and in the heart wishes for all things to end already. "I'm sorry Toby, He-He..." stuttering with fear, you tried to explain. Not another second, he yanked you aside to turn around; your shoulder got smeared by blood - Masky's blood. "I'm sorry" you cried, "I'm sorry T-Toby" begging for mercy with broken voice.

"(Y/N), don't-t y-you love what I-I..." He paused "d-d-d-do to you?" He knelt down, took off the piece of cloth which covers his mouth and exposed his plummed lips - red and almost popping from how hard he kept biting them earlier while chasing after you. "Don't y-you like m-m-my to-touch? Is-s it not e-enough?" He asks in despair, for life's sake you wouldn't dare look at him. But he lifted up his hands, held both of your shoulders and squeezed them tightly before speaking "Do-d-don't you l-love me?". With such perplexing questions you looked up, slowly turning your head to get a sight of his whimpering face. "He's tearing?" Said your head. "I th-thought, I-I fucking thought you l-love me (Y/N)" You covered your mouth to hide your whimper, remembering that moment you've let go of those words to him - you wailed inside that weak chest, knowing the reality of Toby's honesty. "It fucking h-h-hurts!" He murmured under his breath which he soon released by a deep groan he struggled to supply air for.

You were speechless, repentful, and guilty. He - an animal who primarily knows how to hurt sadistically, also knows how to love and to hope to be loved back; Tears were overflowing and cries  have thrown away the silence of the forest, for a period of time you two just kept yawping in front of each other. "I love y-you (Y/N)" He spoke with all the voice he had left. Those words broke you even more, deep inside you're telling yourself who the real beast is. "Toby" you could only call for his name, and reach for his wet face to pull it onto yours. "Please forgive me" with closed eyes you prayed for pardon, for shame to be the only shirt you can wear, for him to open once again his heart to a heartless one like you. Though he's truly grieved, he leaned into you even more and occupied the space between your lips. And without doubt, he cherished that kiss; He felt your lips respond to his - and he acknowledged it good, He put his hand on your neck to drown you even more into him until you're lying on his body, and he sincerely prayed for you to stay - to keep this kiss he'd become undeniably obsessed for for eternity.

But you had to tell him the truth. The truth that you, a destructed woman, still loves her animal. That your love has blossomed its flowers, popped up its seed, created a child. You didn't only want to, but needed to tell him that you love him. So you pulled away, but he held you by the back of your head to extend that precious moment he's trying to embark in his memories. Your clipped-together hands opened up, crawled on his chest then up to his neck. He moaned because of your touch and did not waste any more time. He slid his palms from your shoulders, that arching spine, down to your buttocks which you didn't realize were waiting for his hands. "Toby, I love you" you said in your mind for you couldn't stop kissing him to speak, you could only sink deeper onto this temptation spread on the table for you to eat. Soon your compassion gets set beside, your sounds goes intense, heating up those bodies against each other.

Toby put his other hand on your waist while the other one expertly managed that needy ass of yours, and by your reaction he can tell that it felt good for you. He knew what to do next, you both rolled on the right and now you're the one lying below. But despite of that major movement with your positions, the kiss did not break. His hands knew where to go next and so did yours, so they went on their respective places on each other's body. Everything is perfectly going the way they should be, until He stopped carressing your breast. Suddenly he also pulled away from your lips, and not a second later - he sat up.

You used your elbows to support yourself from the ground, "Toby I-"

"Don't, y-you don't have t-t-to e-explain an-n-nymore" he looked away, you can't see his eyes for it's blocked by his hair. So you pushed yourself up to reached his face, to make him look at you. "Toby! I-"

"Just leave." He didn't even let you start, your arms stopped extending and pulled themselves back to you instead. "I'm g-g-grant-ting you the-the f-fr-feedom now" you saw a tear stream down his cheeks which are also red aside from his lips. "What? No.." your expression went down to a frown, you can not let this happen. "Toby let me talk-"

"I fucking know (Y/N)! S-so just g-go!" He shouted on your face, his hair flew upward and revealed his exhausted, teary eyes. You flinched, almost falling back. You stared back at his eyes, seeing nothing but anguish and depression. Realizing that he's given up, waters couldn't hold themselves anymore for you as well. "Okay" you sucked up those tears, and struggled to get on your knees. Surprisingly, he helped you up. But none of you took time to say goodbyes, nor look for each others eyes. You both just turned around,  and left.

On the way following the direction you took, you remembered those ____ eyes which you painfully accepted to not see again. Lip biting accross the yard to taste the last bit of his kiss, and inhaling the last scent of this nightmare dressed as a daydream. Twisting the knob while wishing a safe life for him, and opening the door to reality.

"I love you Toby." Goodbye.