Fear Wont Last Forever

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 

“Maybe Vic just doesn’t like me?” I asked as if it were obvious.

Mike shrugged. “I don’t think it’s that...” he said and I felt like laughing.

“Then what would it be?” I snapped a little too quickly and Mike face looked tense. I gave him a look that meant sorry and he just turned his gaze away from me. “I mean, he’s acting as if he doesn’t even remember we were friends” i stated. 

“Maybe he’s just not used to having a nice friend so when he got one he didn’t know what to do.” Mike said to me. That shut me up, could that be it? I didn’t reply to him and silence filled the conversation.

The rest of the week had gone by the same. It’s official that Vic and I are no longer friends and for the most part I keep blaming myself. Maybe he didn’t mean to kiss me. Maybe the fact I didn’t push him off grossed him out. Maybe he planned to just ruin me. I thought about telling Mike about the kiss but I knew I couldn’t, what would I say? ‘Oh hey Mike, yeah Vic and I shared a very emotion kiss 2 weeks ago.’ I don’t’ think so, I couldn’t tell him. So of course I didn’t tell Mike what happened, but every time I ask him if I did something he says the same thing telling me that it’s just who Vic is. Mike and I have been hanging out a lot more lately as well, but only in school. I’ve been making up excuses to avoid going to his house, and he obviously can’t come to mine.

“I think I should head” I shrugged, Mike and I were hanging out at the school after hours, I was just trying to avoid going home. Mike wanted me to come to his house but I couldn’t with Vic there, and he understood that I guess.

“If you want to” he said a small sigh

I didn’t want too though; I just knew I had to be home soon.  “I have to, my dad is probably wondering where I am” I said but I was just hoping my dad would be passed out before I got home.

“Alright, see ya dude” He said and waved while he grabbed his skateboard and started heading home.

I waited until he was out of my eye sight before I walked home. My mind was filled with different thoughts. Maybe Mike was right, he didn’t know how to act around me. I kept my pace up when I realized how dark it really was, the lights around the school made it seem like it wasn’t that late. I walked up to the front door but realized if he was awake that would cause a huge problem. I walked around to my room and slid open the window and climbed into bed ready to stop thinking.

I rolled out of bed the next morning feeling the same I have every other day. Sad, and tired, I feel like im in depression mode where nothing can actually make me smile. I get that I should be happy that I still have Mike as a friend but its hard having him around when every time I look at him I just get reminded of Vic. I took a quick shower that morning and got changed into casual clothing. I slipped my toms on before heading out the door. I didn’t feel like getting to school earlier than needed so I was taking my precious time walking. And in the mid of that I saw Vic’s car pass by me.

I pushed the depressive feeling away from my mind; I don’t need to go through the whole day being upset. When I walked into school I was still 5 minutes early before the bell which was upsetting because I was hopping id get here when the bell went. I walked down the hall slowly.

“Kellin!” I heard someone behind me yell and I turned to see Mike. I simply waved back and him while I was walking which was a mistake cause I ended up running into someone. Last time this happened I got my head shoved in a toilet, now what? I regained myself from the hit and realized it was Vic. He looked angry at me. Vic had clearly changed. His used-to-be nice and friendly attitude towards me seemed beneath him and that hurt. Did he really not care about me at all? He told me he did but the look he was giving me told otherwise.