Fear Wont Last Forever

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

“I’m sick” I told my dad for the fifth time this morning

“I know you’re faking it you’ve been home all week. You should be grateful Lindsey was here” he said “Now move before I make you” He turned at left the room.

I sighed but didn’t move from my spot. I couldn’t care less with what my dad does to me; he hasn’t hit me too badly since last week when I came at him. Last week when Vic and I broke up.  It hurts my chest just too simply think about it and all the horrible things that followed that night. I’ve avoided school all week and I was hoping I could today as well but… clearly that’s not happening. I rolled out of bed and looked at my phone, the same thing, a text from Mike asking me if I’m okay and I’ve been ignoring his texts too. I don’t want to interact with any of the Fuentes’ ever again honestly, I just want to die.

I stood up from my bed, and grabbed a pair of jeans from the floor, they were probably dirty but I didn’t care I just wanted to get through the day ahead of me. I grabbed a t-shirt and threw a hoodie on over top to cover my, uh, cuts. This was the first time I had ever done it, and I only have maybe 3. But honestly it was the only thing to distract me from Vic, focusing on the pain and the blood instead and the hurt and self-pity I felt. I shook my head, dismissing my previous thoughts. Vic doesn’t care about you anymore Kells, get over him already. I walked out of my room for the first time this week pretty much. My dad was on the couch, he turned to me when he heard the door close and he smirked.

“Good, now get out. I won’t be here tonight; I’m going to Lindsey’s place”

“Bye” I replied sheepishly and walked out the front door.

 I went the longer rout to get to school because I wasn’t interested in looking at Vic’s house and it made me want to vomit at the thought I might see him. I wasn’t prepared for this, not at all. I really wish I had the guts to turn around and go home because to be honest, my dad beating me sounded more pleasant than running into Vic or Mike. I ended up at the school sooner than I wanted to be. Keep my head down low, stay out of sight, and get through the day Kellin, it’ll be over before you know it. I made a b-line straight to my locker when I arrived and kept my head shoved into the locker so I wouldn’t see anyone. The bell went but I stayed there until the hallways were empty, and then I made my escape. My first class, Math.

 Classes seemed to go by forever and I just wanted to be out of here already. I have no interest in being here and leaning this stupid crap I have no intentions to use when I’m older, I just want to write songs. Second period ended and I felt a knot in my stomach, lunch. I pray I don’t see Vic, I wish I could go outside but there’s this stupid new rule you have to stay inside at lunch now. My life is like a living hell and it’s only going downhill from here. So where did I go at lunch? The bathroom. I found myself in the bathroom, sitting on the closed toilet, with my notebook in my lap, writing. I got a bit distracted and ended up writing on the stall walls a bit before making my way back to the paper in front of me. My next class is music, should I skip it? I can’t… I’ve missed so much already and I don’t want to fall that far behind, I shouldn’t let Vic interfere with my entire life… But that is kinda hard when he was my entire life. Ugh, I have so many problems.

The bell went and I scurried to music class, keeping my head down so I had no interactions with people. I bumped into a lot of people but for the most part everything was okay. When I walked into music Mrs. Tuscan seemed surprised to see me. I gave her a weak smile and took my spot at the back, and to make sure Vic didn’t sit beside me I put my feet up on the chair. Class filled in and I didn’t once turn my head to see who was entering. But I didn’t even have to look when I knew Vic entered the room, I could feel it. It was the opposite when he touched me, he made me feel so weightless, but right now I didn’t feel weightless I felt heavy like I had a ton of bricks stripped to my back weighing me down. The air in the room felt like it was stuffy and I felt like I was in a sauna.