The Secrets We Keep (Formally WAIT)

Chapter 12

A/N Spotify playlist for the book:
https://open.spotify.com/user/1133374371/playlist/683auGBaBgCE8fHRrB6x5k?si=NsZriXuQRr2J6ZMwaZN21A

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I let my head fall back against the cool surface of the bathtub and drew my legs into my chest. My whole body was trembling, and I begged that if there was a God he let me die.

I spent 6 blessed years without Darren in my life, and I guess that was all I was going to get. I struggled to catch my breath, my throat burning from the bile and my chest squeezed tight from panic.

My mind flashed back to the day in court when my mother cried and plead on Darren's behalf that he had never hurt me before. Of course being a minor I wasn't allowed to testify, seeing as my mother wouldn't agree to it. They'd both hated me as long as I could remember.

I never knew who my biological father was. I think my mom met Darren when I was around three. His own daughter, the spawn of Satan, was just three months older than me and he was able to slip his way into our already f*cked up world. Darren played the Prince Charming until they married and he started abusing me. I shuddered at the thought of that cramped closet he locked me into everyday. If he wasn't locking me up, he was beating me. Of course he was smart, always used his power over me to not tell anyone. He always threatened to hurt my mom and told me that no one would even believe me if I said anything. The only person who knew anything until that day was Avery. Of course she sided with her father and made it her only life goal to torture me everyday after her dad was sent to jail. She never failed to remind me of what he would do to me and threatened to tell the whole school some big rumor about me if I ever mentioned anything.

I was brought to my senses when Avery banged on the door to hurry up. I shakily stood up and rinsed my mouth out in the sink. I swung the door open to see her disgusted face.

"Ew," she said plugging her nose. "Were you just puking?"

"Maybe," I said moving past her towards my room.

"Mom! Dad! Lyssa was puking, she should probably stay home, right?"

I rolled my eyes, muttering a silent thank God under my breath and closed my bedroom door behind me. I had just reached my bed when the door opened to reveal Darren holding a can of soda and a piece of bread.

He shut the door behind him turning the lock.

My hands starting sweating and I crawled to the other side of the bed, trying to get as far away as possible.

"I heard you were sick and brought you some soda and bread," he said coldly.

"Thanks," I managed to barely whisper out.

He stepped forward and set it on my bedside table. He moved to sit on the edge of my bed, and I shrunk deeper into the corner of my bed and the wall.

His cold black eyes burned into mine and he swiftly grabbed my wrist. He yanked me forward, his fingers practically breaking my wrist.

"I don't want to hear a peep out of you. You make things nice for my mom, your sister and I. Alright?"

I nodded, tears welling up in my eyes.
He let go of my wrist and left the room leaving the door cracked.

I ran to the door and turned the lock sliding down to the carpet of my bedroom floor. I heard Avery yell goodbye and the front door slam before I balled my eyes out.

Do I deserve this?

I stripped off my clothes and climbed into my bed. I wrapped myself into a cocoon of blankets and eventually drifted off to sleep. Unfortunately my dreams were littered with memories of Darren and I tossed and turned the entire night.

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I woke to a stream of faint pink light filtering across my face. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and yawned. Ugh. My mouth tastes so gross. That's when I remembered last night and vomiting my brains out.

I searched the covers for my phone and found it underneath my pillows. The brightness made my eyes burn and I quickly turned it down. Finally being able to look at it, I saw that it was 5am.

I stretched my body and groaned when my stomach began to throb. Sh*t. I forgot about that. I lifted the bandage from my abdomen and examined the stitches. It surprising looked like it was healing quickly. There was no more bleeding, and the area wasn't as inflamed.

I quickly grabbed an outfit from the closet, settling for another pair of ripped skinny jeans and a black T-shirt. I unlocked my door and peered down the hallway. The only sound I could hear was someone snoring. I assumed it was Darren, seeing as the house is usually pretty silent.

I ran to the bathroom with my clothes and towel in hand and locked the door behind me. I took a nice long, hot shower and even shaved my legs. Something I refrain from normally doing again until summer time. With my towel wrapped around me, I wiped the steam off the mirror so I could properly look at my reflection. My short hair was already starting to gently form curls and the gash on my forehead stood out like a giant red flag alerting the world I was a weirdo.

I sighed and combed my hair to cover it as much as possible. After applying some lotion and brushing my teeth, I got dressed and left my things in my room. I made my way to the kitchen and made some toast with Nutella. Scrolling through Pinterest, I stuffed my face with the chocolaty goodness.

When I had finished I cleared up and grabbed my bag. I headed to school to make the long trek, popping some medicine in my mouth as I walked.

Why do schools require so many textbooks. My backpack felt like a ton of bricks. Or it could just be that I'm not very strong. I plugged in my headphones and blasted some of my favorite music to make the walk a little more entertaining.

I made it to school and headed to my locker, but realized a classroom door was open. That's weird, there's never anyone here this early except the janitors. I peaked my head in to see if anyone was in there and found the music room empty. There was a guitar resting against a chair and my fingers ached to play it. My own guitar was smashed to bits by Avery a few months ago and I haven't been able to play since.

I slipped inside and dropped my bag, picking up the guitar and resting it against my body. It fit like a glove.

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Long update!
Ryder is in the next chapter!!

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