Still the One (Book 2 in the Four of Us Trilogy)

18 | Why Now?

We've tried to wash our hands of all of this

We never talk of our lacking relationships

And how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our heads on the floor

We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip...

-The Verve Pipe, "The Freshmen"

Two Weeks Later

Luke

I woke up this morning to a group message from Brooke, letting us know that she was out of the hospital and in detox. She hadn't been allowed to have her phone until the process was over. I pretended like I didn't care, but honestly, I was relieved to hear that she went to detox and not back to Jordan for more smack.

After all, it was possible that she was carrying my child.

I tried not to think about that very often because in my heart of hearts, I didn't know which one I preferred: for the baby to be mine or for me to be free of Brooke forever.

I still loved her, but I didn't know if I would ever be able to trust her again.

"Luke?" a voice was calling.

I blinked and looked around, remembering that I was in Microcomputer Applications, and I was supposed to be helping Jessica with our programming project.

"Oh, sorry, Jessica. I just sort of zoned out for a sec," I said, looking back at the computer screen. I realized I had no idea what was going on.

"Luke, are you all right? You've been really out of it for the past couple classes," she asked, concern clouding her delicate porcelain features.

I looked down, wondering if I could confide in her. I decided I would, but not tell her the whole story. "My girlfriend and I broke up," I said, looking over at her tentatively.

"Oh man, that sucks. I'm sorry," she said, and before I could respond, she continued. "I know how that feels. Keith broke up with me last week too."

I raised my eyebrow. "He did? Shit, Jessica, I'm sorry... I didn't know."

She shook her head. "Don't apologize. I wasn't exactly forthcoming. It's been really hard... we were together for like 2 years. He just dumped me out of the blue. He was an asshole anyway, to be honest," she said, sitting back in her seat, forgetting the project for the moment.

I nodded knowingly. "Brooke and I were together for about the same amount of time. She was the only girl I've ever loved. She broke up with me because she – " I stopped suddenly, wondering if I should tell her.

"She what?" Jessica asked, pushing a strand of ginger hair behind her ear, her blue eyes glued to mine.

I took a deep breath and decided to trust her. "She started using heroin," I said in a low voice, not wanting anyone else to hear.

"Oh, Jesus," she murmured. "I'm so sorry, Luke," she said, putting her hand on mine.

I felt a spark, and my heart skipped a beat.

"I – ya know, it is what it is," I said, trying desperately to sound nonchalant.

"Yeah, but... shit. That's rough," she said, and just then, Dr. Perkins announced that class was over.

"Oh, damn," I whispered. "Sorry I wasted our time."

She shrugged. "It's not due til next Friday." She looked down shyly and then back up at me. "Do you want to go get a cup of coffee?" she asked. "I have a feeling there's more to this story."