Gay Chicken | ✓

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Chapter Twenty-Nine

Casper hated crying. He hated how sensitive he was and how much shit he got how easily he would tear up at the smallest of things. He had balled at countless movies Daisy made him watch, sort of cried when Daisy had told him her mum was pregnant, when he watched that hospital show on the tele with his mum once.

He had however, never cried this much in his life like he had in the last two days. And now he just felt numb. Now he found himself staring at walls in silence. His mum was getting worried, Sure she was used to her son’s sensitive nature but she knew: silence was bad.

Logan had called him later in the day after James and him... Casper wasn’t going to answer it at all, he felt like shit but he did anyway. Logan had hounded him over the phone and he had cried all over again, Logan panicked and tried to calm him down. It was all a big mess really. However, he was relieved that Logan called, it meant that he told Casper he had James who wasn’t wandering about the streets with nowhere to go or hadn’t shacked up with Jessica or something... Casper had been going through a lot of scenarios through the day.

Logan had called Darla to go round and see him as he couldn’t with James there and Darla had brought Daniel and then later reluctantly called Daisy to cheer him up. It had worked for a bit, he had laughed a few times, but he just felt worse after they left.

His mum didn’t know anything still, just thought he and James had gotten into a harmless argument between friends and he was a bit upset.

They said that crying it out made you feel better after it was all dried up. Casper didn’t. Casper felt like crying all over again. Casper felt like crying for the rest of his life, holed up in his room, under the covers and never see the light of day again – or he would if he didn’t have to do inconvenient things like pee and eat.

In fact, in the past two days he’s practically emptied the fridge of its contents, every left over of Christmas, every yogurt pot, every packet of sliced ham, he’d even found a hidden jar of Nutella in the back of the cupboard that was probably put there by his mum, he grabbed a spoon and ran up to the confides of his bedroom with it.

He had found himself constantly taking his phone in his hands, thumb ready to swipe over James’ name. He had done it once, straight to voice mail.

 “Casper?” he heard his mum call softly from behind his door. He shifted in the sheet cocooned around him so that his head poked. “Honey, are you awake?”

“No,” he croaked, his throat raw.

He heard his mother sigh and open the door anyway. Casper watched as she frowned at his room, her nose wrinkling from the smell that had built up from the stuffiness Casper had been living in. She made her way over the multiple items of clothing on the floor, stopped when she noticed the now empty Nutella jar but didn’t say anything and continued to come over to the bed.

“Casper, sweetie,” she said, dipping his bed as she sat down next to his feet, her hand placing itself on his arm over the covers. “I don’t know what happened between you and James and I know you’re upset but I think it’s time to get up and get dressed. Your dad and I are going out to eat and we want you to join us.”

Casper thought about it. He really hadn’t washed since, or changed. He could smell himself, even with his nose stuffed into the duvet (and even that didn’t smell exactly sanitary), and he smelt bloody awful. His cheeks felt sticky and itchy and his eyes puffy and sore, his hair thick with grease which was horrible. He also knew his mum wasn’t asking him, she was telling him that he was going to get up whether he wanted to or not.

Feeling sorry for himself time was over.

 “Okay,” he mumbled, “I’ll get dressed.”

His mother smiled at him, going to pat his hair then thought better of it and pulled away, and patted his shoulder instead. “Meet us downstairs in an hour.” She left the room, picking up clothes and empty plates on the way.