Their pressed shoulder to shoulder. The bathroom is probably the worst place to sit on floor but in an exhausted state, Adam doesn't really care. Not much time has passed, if any at all. Adam feels like he's in a world between worlds; time is irrelevant but also, a tangible stream that flows around your drowning head. Suffocating, but liberating.
His throat is dry, lips chapped and he wants to laugh somewhat hysterically because he can't seem to do anything fucking right and why isn't this working out, why is his heart so fast, why –
Why did he ever have to fall in love with Austin Brown?
Said man, pressed firmly against his side is quiet but not awkwardly so. His stubble is a little bigger, more like a developing beard. Adam bites his lip. He's staring straight ahead, focused on nothing. Russet hair is wavy, almost like damp curls, tucked behind his ear.
Austin tilts his head a little, startling Adam, “You're staring.”
Adam recoils slightly, noting their closeness. The question is burning his tongue, and it's out before his teeth can trap it. “Why are you still here?”
Austin looks confused, brow knitted together and nose scrunched up, “Your my friend, Adam.”
Adam's heart stutters. Austin considers him a friend. But, then again, that's all he'll ever be. He feels sick again. “Oh,” it’s quiet. His throat burns, as does his face.
Austin shifts, now in front of Adam, crouching rather than sitting. He eyes Adam curiously. “Think you can stand?”
Adam shrugs, but thinks about the way his legs feel; he can move them, just maybe not stand on them. Austin stands up and offers a hand to hand, to which the blond shakily takes.
Austin is actually stronger than he looks, and he pulls Adam up as if he weighed little to nothing. His hand feels weirdly nice. Adam flushes. His legs shake under him, and he almost falls back down again, but then there’s Austin, arm wrapped his stomach and another on his back keeping him upright. His flushes a little more.
“You okay?” Austin says, his breath warm on Adam's neck.
Adam finds his tongue, heavy and dry in his mouth, “I’m fine.” It’s hoarse and cracked.
His legs feel a little sturdier and he slightly pushes at Austin to allow him to stand by himself. His legs are still a little shaky but he doesn't fall over just yet.
They leave, Austin's hand on Adam's back, supporting the man. Adam tries not to lean on the touch.
For the most part, everybody is enjoying themselves, either dancing and drinking. Matt, Avi and Kirstin have wondered to bar leaving Jen and someone else to dance. Austin seems to know exactly where he wants to go and helps him and his shaking legs along.
He sits Adam into the booth, the blond almost immediately shuffling along. Austin pauses for a moment, eyes flicking up to meet Adam's curious gaze. Eventually he slides in next to Adam, pressing their thighs together. Adam swallows.
He tries to distract himself and Austin's heavily intoxicating smell, and he actually notes who's dancing with Jenika; Olena. The brunette is of a similar height to Jenika, and is smiling eagerly as she and Jen move to the beat. Adam smiles at the somewhat carefree duo.
Austin is the first to break the silence between them. “They seem to be having fun,” he muses, tilting his head away from the dance floor and toward Adam.
“They do,” Adam breathes, briefly meeting Austin’s eyes and then looking at the table.
“How about you, birthday boy?” the other jokes, seemingly leaning in closer. Adam's pulse skyrockets.
“About as well as one can be,” he says softly. He really shouldn’t worry about speaking too loud and breaking moment; the music blares, and if it could suffocate you, it would. Austin smiles, a light quirk of the lips.
“Could be worse, could find out you were getting cheated on,” he says with a shrug, an he looks somewhat saddened by this. Adam bites his lip.
“Is that what happened to you?” Adam says, sadly, almost as if he were the one to offend Austin.
Austin smiles, bigger than last time. “No, but it's still worse right?” Adam blinks.
Adam licks his lips, and he must be hallucinating but he swear that Austin's eyes flicked to his mouth. Adam's mouth is suddenly a desert with no oasis. “Oh.”
“I know my timing probably isn’t the best,” Austin says, turning to better face Adam. The blond feels a little trapped. Austin seems to press closer. “But would it be crazy if I asked to –“
“Austin.” Chris says, somewhat harshly and Adam isn't sure whether to be relieved or annoyed. He settles on reluctant gratitude. Austin seems to jump away, looking a mix of embarrassed and ashamed. Adam only just notices how heavy his own breathing it's scaring him, like the beginnings of a panic attack.
His lower lip is shaking and he looks back up to see Austin and Chris looking at him like he has two heads. He hates it. He tries to calm himself, however little. “I’m fine, I'm – “ deep breaths, deep breaths, “ – okay, I'm okay.”
Chris looks unconvinced and he’s glaring daggers at Austin’s head, like he's summoned the devil. “You sure?”
Adam nods, short, sharp movement and says, “I’m sure. Thank you.” Chris turns and leaves but there’s something about the set of his shoulders that gives away the fact he really wanted to make a scene. Nonetheless, the partially asked question is still burning Adam's ears and he has to hear the rest of it. “You were saying?”
Austin swallows, Adam's eyes drawn to the bobbing of his throat, and his eyes dart away from Adam's. “It doesn’t matter.” Adam wants to laugh and say he really doesn’t believe him but that would probably make Austin hate him. He keeps quiet.
“Are you sure?” it’s annoying at worst, friendly concern at best.
Austin nods, smiling but there’s something in his eyes that make it all insincere. Adam smiles back but he figures that in his exhausted state it's more of a grimace.
Not for the first time of his life, Adam wonders what is actually fucking wrong with him.
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Thank you for reading and I did say last chapter that it would get better and even though it doesn't feel like it right now, it will.
Thanks for reading please vote and/or comment if you enjoyed!
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Faith(less)
Fanfiction"Every story has a beginning, middle and end. Not necessarily in that order." - Jean-Luc Godard Sometimes you think your story has long since ended. Maybe its never even started. This is a story about a man who thinks his...
