His bag is are packed before the break of dawn, what little he is bring with him having a seemingly infinite weight.
He eats and dresses, tossing the dirty clothes into the hamper, committing himself to washing them when he returns.
His phone is mostly charged, and is blowing up with excessive texts, mostly from Jen and Chance. There’s a few from Chris, just reminders and something aches in him that reminds him that Adam has lost something (or felt a loss of some kind) and Chris isn’t even aware. He’d have to apologize to his brother about distancing himself again.
But that was later. Practice was now – or at least, today.
He’s out the door bag on his back, double checking the locks in his way out, and making his way in the early bustle of working morning. The roads are still heavy with traffic, and Adam finds that no matter where you go, if there’s money to be made there’s probably more traffic than necessary.
The skies seem so dull, like eyes heavy with tears, so much so that Adam smiles a little at the anticipation of rain.
He actually has no idea where he’s going, but he figures, phone in his pocket, that he can’t really mess up much, as long as he stays in Atlanta. Relatively.
His legs seem eager to walk, to move and for a fleetingly sappy, poetic moment, Adam thinks that maybe they’re separate from the rest of him, so not convinced that Adam is over Austin (to be fair, Adam will most likely never get over Austin. If Adam’s heart is a tree, then his love for Austin is a sturdy branch that will never yield to breaking of time) and maybe they’re trying to run away from him, away from everyone.
He stops, and acknowledges that he’s at Peachtree Station and thinks of where to go.
He likes nature. He kind of abandoned it though, excluding his time as a florist (read: he still is, but if he can put everything into the past, maybe it'll hurt less) abandoned it for something that wasn’t really worth it. He thinks of the nearest nature location, and almost instantly thinks of the Atlanta park, full of it.
He buys a ticket and leaves his hom – place of residence, to find a journey.
He thinks of nature in its glory, and his hopes to kill a love by rekindling a new one.
-*-*-
Maybe, just maybe on hindsight he should’ve left notifications for his friends and his brother before disappearing.
“Where the fuck are you?” In all of Adam’s days, he had never heard Chance so angry and worried and scared, mixed into an awful concoction that brought heavy tears of shame to him.
“I’m sorry,” he says and yes, he does realise how much of a sorry child he sounds right about now.
Chance grunts, sounding annoyed and already Adam can see the pinch between his brows and how he would be frowning. “I know you are, but still,” Adam hears the sigh and for a moment wonders if Chance I’d crying. “You have everyone a heart attack. You are okay though? Nothings happened to you?”
Adam smiles a little weakly. “No, I’m okay, I just,” he pauses, swallowing. “Just needed sometime to myself, away from everything else.” And it’s not wrong, this hour by himself surrounded by nature sitting under the trees and near water made him remember so much about when he was younger and Chris would take him to parks, to anywhere. He loves it, places like this.
He hears Chance make a sound on the other end of the phone. “Okay, I’ll tell Jenika, just,” he exhales deeply, “be safe, okay? We worry about you, you dumb airhead.”
In light of the familiar nickname, Adam can't help but retort with a faux angry, “Hey!” he smiles, however slight. “Thank you.”
Chance exhales again. “Don’t worry about it. Your here when we need it. Just be home, safe and sound soon, okay?”
“Okay,” Adam says softly.
“Okay. Good.” The line goes dead.
Adam takes a deep inhale, allowing the freshness of the air to invade his lungs. He waits for a moment before picking up the phone again. He calls Chris.
It rings for a few moments and Adam thinks he’s put his brother in such a mess that he can’t even answer when – “Adam! Your, your okay? Your okay, right?”
Despite himself, and despite the situation, Adam snorts a little. “I’m fine, promise.”
“I don't take kindly to my brother going missing as a joke,” Chris says dryly, although Adam knows he isn’t actually upset with him.
“I’m sorry.”
“It's okay – your alive, I just want to know why you disappeared I mean,” Chris makes a noise of confusion, or exasperation (likely a mix of the two), “last time I saw you, you were great you and Austin were hitting it off –“ Chris cuts himself off.
Adam cringes. “Chris, it's – “
“What,” Chris starts, eerily calm, “did he do?”
Adam swallows. Well shit. “He broke up with me.”
Chris clicks his tongue. “Yeah, stay out of town. You wouldn’t want to be an accessory to murder.”
“Chris,” he warns, eyes widening. “Don’t. Anyways, I thought you didn’t like him?”
Chris makes a sound, a little like a laugh he’s killed in his throat. “Its not I didn’t like him it’s just,” Adam is sure that Chris is pinching his nose now, “I didn’t trust him with you, okay? I may not always have been supportive and I have to admit, I still don’t get it,” Chris let’s out a dry laugh, “but your my baby brother.
“Your all I have left, and you need support, and you’ve given me a lot over the years. I’m trying to be better. For you. For Tristin. And I was worried Austin was going to hurt you, so I made him promise. Until he could say that he loved you, cared for you whilst looking me in the eye, he doesn’t have permission to ask you out. Turns out that meant nothing.”
“Chris,” Adam says, although he doesn’t know what else to say, because be loves his brother and he’s glad he’s trying. He’s glad he isn’t being completely abandoned.
“Just come home safe okay? I’ll deal with Austin you just, you just keep yourself together.”
------
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Faith(less)
Fanfiction"Every story has a beginning, middle and end. Not necessarily in that order." - Jean-Luc Godard Sometimes you think your story has long since ended. Maybe its never even started. This is a story about a man who thinks his...
